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I didn't notice it, I promise

When we watch david attenborough
and drink red wine from white glasses
and touch each others legs as though sexual insertion
will be the only satisfactory climax of our fatigued monday evening –

oh monday evenings you beautiful boring bitch
how I wish to fill your void with sentimental fucking.

and then you fart in my direction –
lift that leg that rests on my leg and hope I don’t notice
and I pretend not to notice and watch david attenborough
and comment on the sea lions and ant eaters and eagles
and I can still smell it and I love you more for it,

feeling closer to you like you’ve customised the evening
from being a straightforward romance
to pure-fact intimacy.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Attenborough

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Terry Collett
    November 12
    Edit | Reply
    Original take on a good night in. The nature link with David Attenborough added a good aspect too. Enjoyed.


  • Night Hope gold member
    November 9
    Edit | Reply




    Congratulations on your HM, Emmyb. Well done, Sweetie.




  • Odds and Ends
    November 9
    Edit | Reply
    this was a judge favorite. you made all five of us smile with this. thank you!

  • n.e.o.n gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    I found this to be intruiging. I liked the hints of sexuality. I liked the way that you were blunt and not afraid to word it like that. Well done and thanks for entering.

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    i would really work on putting much of this in the past tense ... would read better like that as a story you have maybe told, or are telling again ... seems confusing to the reader a bit in the present tense ...

    but, hell, as i have been told before ... i don't know what i am talking about ...

    i love the honesty, freedom of expression, and raw energy of this ... just trying to say, polish it a bit (hmmm, let's see who tells me off for this critique now)


    • Emmyb gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply
      i dont think anyone cares that much really

      i do though. thanks for the comment.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    Gently, honestly, personally romantic. The truth is, that real romance is when we know that anything is allowable, as long as we're in the same room and smiling.

    Lovely



    Jeff


  • manatee
    October 29
    Edit | Reply
    Sex, Lies, and Video ... must be pure-fact love. -Manatee


  • Amera gold member
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    LOL
    Only you could write a poem about a fart and make it romantic.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 29
    Edit | Reply
    Lol this is just great. Love is in bloom.

    Joe


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    But will he allow you to do your morning business next to him on the toilet as he shaves?

    Now that's love.

    Nice piece Em.


  • Acqua Mossa
    October 27
    Edit | Reply
    loved it


  • Jersene gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    I love this snippet of a moment you've penned...it's so unexpected and yet, when the poem is finished it's recognised as true love. Enjoyed


  • Budart
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes true love is being in the fart confidence of your beloved.


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    October 27
    Edit | Reply
    Now that is real love.
    errr.....
    I think


  • The Drifter
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Such detail. I guess I am an old romantic. The poem is well written bringimg bright reality into focus as it really is. An intimate time on a tired Monday evening with no frills, just as it is. Thank you for sharing. You always bing something new or something old with a new view. :-)

  • luv2dream gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    you made me laugh ( needing laughter now) and i'm sure my b/f would appreciate this poem. how i can relate and i'm sure he would too. love the title too.


  • Ellegirl silver member
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    Brutally honest!...I would be like my God what did you eat?

  • Rowan gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    lol.
    After 24 years, I still don't fart hon, I fluff... he farts...
    yes, there will many moments like this, and that is 'pure fact'
    and the only kind of true love there really is;
    acceptance of our frail, sometimes gross, humanity.
    I loved this, em. He's a keeper. lol.


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    Yeahhh, you gotta know it's true love when that happens. Hey, at least he didn't try to blame you for it, as many do. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.


  • All I Love
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the imagery in this, particularly with the red wine and white glasses. I like the ending as well, with the parallels between the romance and the documentary. All the best


  • arafura gold member
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    True life romance... warts (farts) and all. Love it!


  • jazzcat gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    Great! For some reason, my wife never appreciates it when I fart... I've got to show her this poem!
    You made this truly a lovely piece. I love the set-up and I like the little insert of ''Oh Monday evenings..." that really added some spice to the soup! You have humor and deep romance and great style. Good luck in the contest.

    • Emmyb gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      thank you. yes please do show it to her.

  • Odds and Ends
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    This made me laugh because it's honestly true love!


    what better way to know you're completely accepted! flatulence and all!


    • Emmyb gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      its not a bad thing, flatulence - but its not really good either i guess. its just..... there.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    this is a perfect mix of emmyb and richard brautigan.

    to say i liked this would be an understatement. your mind is quite arousing.


  • Allyce May gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    Real and disturbingly touching, lol. How poetically you've penned this Enjoyed every word.

    • Emmyb gold member
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      disturbingly touching. thats what i aim for. thats how i feel.

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