My greed will not appease me
This lust consuming, running wild
I felt my soul desert me
As I felt my body slowly dying
Ripped away from the life I once knew
Created for this new world I've grown to despise
You snatched me from my mortal life
To be your immortal slave and companion
This blood that I crave as a vampire
Leaves me nothing but a pack of lies
It's your own private hell your living
As I'm trapped between it's doors of your device
You will share this emptiness without me
Be banished from my thoughts and mind
I have no heart left in me to be forgiving
You destroyed all I had left to survive.
A contest entry
- Vamp Stories by BloodDragonRuler.
400 points, ended October 26, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Not to your liking? then don't comment
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Fantastic Write
Greed and lust are the two biggest weaknesses of man. I loved reading it. Your description created great imagery. This poem captivated me from start to finish.
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Hey hon, this is another of your master pieces. The only thing i think doesn't quite work is 'pack of lies', It odesn't quite fit into the language. But otherwide, I love it
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really great poem congradulations, i love vampire writes, this poem has a great flow to it and really great imagery! very well done. keep writing!!
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thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed this write
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deep!
im not sure if theres an uderlying meaning or you chose a subject to write about 1st, but i like it. it could possibly be abit of both, meaning that your subconscious may have come into play more than you realise. if its about a relationship it seems to be one sided ,you gave all you could/can but the other cant stop taking from you which leaves you with the feeling of been trapped. but as i said...it could just be a subject you chose to write about. lol.
nice work either way!
M.D.B. -
Beautiful, powerful write. This had a wonderful flow and I liked the last stanza. It gave the sense of losing everything in life and not being sure where to turn or what to do in life in the future. Congrats on winning the silver trophy.
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Thanks Haley. Glad you liked this piece doll
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Very wll written. Excellent flow and emotion. Thnx for entering the contest.
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