She is witness
to an everlasting revelation
and personifies the beauty of creation.
She will calm the savage storms of life
with the grace of warm embraces,
soothing in siren's tones,
with songs of pure magic.
She's the mist of dawn
in fine spiritual sensation
and she's armed with emotions
of sweetest soothing.
For her spirit fights footprints
of ruinous alarm,
whilst her heartbeat echoes in dreams.
And when cold smiles of obsolete
beckon with their swords,
she slaps at those reflections
of redundancy.
For Trust is her name,
in her hands you can lay your foundations,
when life cracks the bones
in the ocean of denial.
Author notes
Prompt: (photo taken by BETH MOON)
http://www.flatfilegalleries.com/images/upcoming/2007_11_02/Beth-Moon_Last-Comes-the-Raven.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- Photo prompt Contest by writeonhorses.
750 points, ended November 5, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Tell Me What You Think
Comments
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This grew on me a lot as I kept coming back to re-read it. The imagery is beautiful and creates a vivid, energetic "picture". The title really caught my attention (probably because I also see the portrayal of trust in the photo). The first stanza is my favorite part of the whole poem. It acts as a sort of "summary" of everything you say later. This, I think, is the core
She is witness
to an everlasting revelation
and personifies the beauty of creation
I also really liked the imagery:
grace of warm embraces
cold smiles of obsolete
the ocean of denial.
A few things to improve it:
She is witness
to an everlasting revelation
maybe "she is a witness"? or "she witnesses"?
For her spirit fights footprints
of ruinous alarm,
I don't think you need the "for", the "flow" is good here and additional "connector words" arent needed and just take away from what you are trying to say.
These are just small changes, overall I think you really captured the truth and beauty and calmness...and well trust...of the photo. Thanks for entering!
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So many wonderful images in this, I've read it several times and keep finding more! I particularly like the last stanza - wonderful!


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Excellent
What a terrific take on the prompt. So very creative and well done. Best of luck in the contest




