We all just pretended you were slightly distended
mind blown and heart broken
deep down in it dug well into the shit
crippled mind writing whatever your fractured heart had recently spoken
Plastered in memes ripping open the seams
your were cunning with your subterfuge-laden linguism
you die and we all get to cry
few bothered to structure the tragedy into logical syllogism
How could they simply walk past today
saying all along how they loved you
they dismembered and reconfigured all they remembered
loftily pretending they all knew
This would be the way she would end their betrayel
alone wound in some tiny spring
no one did the math or followed the logical path
until it was too late nobody did a fucking thing.
Author notes
A poem about a friend.
A contest entry
- Big Point Contest Challenge for a Poetic Form by Haiku-bless-you.
2100 points, ended November 16, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Pretty in Chaos.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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An interesting word picture you paint here, a character study of one you got ignored in life but suddenly praise and acknowledged in death. You primarly stuck to form but the rhyme and meter were a bit loose. Thanks for your entry
Dennis
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Thanks for the contest.
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It's sad that most of the frieds in our lives are of the fair weather variety!
How could they simply walk past today
saying all along how they loved you
they dismembered and reconfigured all they remembered
loftily pretending they all knew
This would be the way she would end their betrayel
alone wound in some tiny spring
no one did the math or followed the logical path
until it was too late nobody did a fucking thing.
A friend is one who
knows you as you are
understands where you've been
accepts who you've become
and still, gently
invites you nto grow!This is so tragically sad and all to often true, of the people that we call friend. Your poem evoked some uncomfortable emotions within my self and also reminded me to treasure the true friends that I can count, on less than one hand. Your rhyme was spot on to the form.
Thank you for entering the contestand sharing your talent.
Bill
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She was a good friend, good people, caught up in the madness of meth. I can't help but to think she could have been someone of real substance in a different environment. She was pretty, intelligent, and compassionate.
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the best part about coming to AP is stumbling upon a poem that you think might be really bad, but happens to be the complete opposite. Case in point - glad I stumbled upon you tonight
L
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Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Absolutely wondrous a write!
I am very pleased that you rhymed your way into rhythm!
Powerful, observational and truly piercing.
Love
Myra
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Thanks Myra. I'm still not too into the mechanics of writing poetry, but I'm starting to learn. Plenty of material out there.
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esp likedWe all just pretended you were ..
mind blown and heart broken
deep down in it dug well into the shit
How could they simply walk past today
saying all along how they loved you
they dismembered and reconfigured all they remembered
This would be the way she would end their betrayel
alone wound in some tiny spring
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