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Before Death

Can you save a life?
Can you save mine?
Tears in hands;
Crystal and fingertips -
Dear Lord, catch them
Before broken like glass.
Dear Lord, catch me,
before I break like glass.

Can you save a life?
Can you save mine?
Breath in lungs;
Breathless, I gasp -
Dear Lord, fill them
Before they collapse.
Dear Lord, fill me,
before I collapse.

Can you save a life?
Can you save mine?
Living in death;
Fallen and collapsed -
Dear Lord, stop this,
Before all is dead.
Dear Lord, save me,
before I am dead.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Knightbooboo
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    also, on one of the comments; I'm glad I didn't go to college, some folk is smarter; than college English.


  • Knightbooboo
    October 26
    Edit | Reply
    Like pinnapple smoothie w/yogurt and protein suppliment. In short balances my peice. "I'm proud of you jess". Return the favor?


  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    Rachel.....your cry of desperation is felt here..The upheaval of your home life, and what you face is unfathomable....I am praying luv....So many upheavals going on in homes, lives.....Keep in touch ...Please! Love Mom


    • maktub
      October 26
      Edit | Reply
      I am trying to! Sometimes...it just feels like a plant planted in the middle of the room, growing and then all of a sudden the ceiling and walls collapse on top of and crumble around it. That poor plant, if it is not crushed, can give up hope, or try to grow through the cracks in the rubble, towards the sunshine.

      I feel as if I am the plant, and that room my life, the world around me...hope is my sunshine. I am trying, I am reaching, I am still here, though sometimes silent for so long...my writing suffers, the words in my mind suffer.

      Love you too! Thanks for commenting...

1 - 6 of 6