My secret place

I wanted to show you my secret place
it was brushed with the scent of me and pines
it was always outside
shimmering with the wavering sunlight
flowing with the river
it belonged
but latley
i haven't been able to find it
is it hiding?
i'm sorry for how i treated it
i cherish it
i love it
it is me
it never worried about what others thought of it
it ran free
it laughed
it shined with it's brillance,
it's presence
it feels like comfort and silk
but now i can't find it
there's a gaping hole where it used to be
it edges are uneven as if someone has rough yanked it out
but i'll find it i swear i will
i'll suit up and put a brave face on
i'm not about to let go,i'm getting it back
even if it kills me
i'll find my shimmering shinig presence
i'll find my place that flows with rivers
i'll find my place that smells like pines
i'll find my place that belonged
i'll find me