My dreams were made out of your skin
never knew love cured bitterness
never knew love was so innocent
I hoped and prayed a selfless wish
But somehow it ended up like this
guess we'll never know what we've missed
But the pictures are burnt into my heart
even if they were all just made up
I'm tired of feeling so angry and sad
I replayed all your words in my head
I wrecked my mind but now instead
I remember the things I felt for the first time
Even if you never were mine
I know that I'll be fine
And the pictures are burnt into my heart
even if they were all just made up
I wanted to laugh with you
and share with you the best times of my life
To hold your hand try and understand
if you ever felt messed up inside
I wanted to give you everything I had and not take anything
It was fatal but so beautiful and my dreams were made of your skin
I'm tired of asking myself why
It's not like anyone just died
Don't even know what I missed out on, right?
But the pictures are burnt into my heart
even if they were all just made up
Author notes
It's a song I wrote on the piano - it's a ballad and it's got to be by far the sweetest song I've ever written.
I fell in love with someone for the first time, and it never worked out. He was somewhat interested, but is not in love. Because he didn't know what he wanted, he let me drag the hope and feelings on for longer than necessary - and all the while I felt uncomfortable with not having any control over my emotions. The results of it all were not what I wanted, of course. It left me angry. A part of me is still angry at him - for playing with my emotions, for still not being fully able to convincingly reject me. A part of me is so angry that he can't just give a full yes or no. A part of me is so sad that somehow I wasn't worth it to him.
But I seem to have forgotten what the feeling was actually like. Even while I was feeling it, I was denying the sweetness and the innocence. Love is such a beautiful thing. I really really hope I'll feel it again. Just remembering the things I saw and felt because of him... it's worth the fall. It really is. It's the most beautiful feeling in the world. It's all the beauty and joy you've ever seen wrapped in skin and bones. And even though I feel like kicking him in the balls sometimes, even though I feel sad over never having been able to share that feeling with him, most of all when I look at him I see all those damn rainbows and stars and butterflies I used to have. And I feel lucky that I'm able to feel that much love inside of me.
That's what I was trying to embrace in this song. Letting go of the bitterness and finally accepting the feeling as it was, and seing it as a promise for the future. If it happened once, it can happen again.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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~Beautiful~
I could imagine this being sung,
being a singer my self.
lovely lyrics
Rend
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