Stars that night, were extra bright,
as they reflected in your eyes.
You gave no clue, though you knew,
your love was made up of lies.
I remember well, my personal hell,
as I knew before you spoke,
answer was no, it couldn't help show,
so, silently my heart broke.
I walked away, rued the day,
I first saw your wicked smile.
I'm glad I did, 'cause honestly kid,
I never did like your style.
Author notes
My challenge to you is to write a poem using this form.
Working on it!
A contest entry
- Big Point Contest Challenge for a Poetic Form by Haiku-bless-you.
2100 points, ended November 16, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Good form, rhyme and meter in this poem and you tell well the tale of a love gone wrong. Thanks for your entry.
Dennis
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Happy ending, but not happilly ever after. Your rhyme was spot on to the form and flowed with the rhythm that this form, when written correctly will always produce.
Thank you for entering the contest and sharing your talent.
Bill
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Oh wow, this was interesting. I loved reading it. Thanks for the oppurtunity to read your brilliant work by posting it here. You did a great job with this. Keep the ink flowing!
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This put a smile on my face with the last line. Very good!
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Good rhyme & flow and I liked the conclusion very much--
Well Done & best of luck in the contest!
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Cleverly crafted and put together, and followed the form on the nose.
Think this challenge is going to bring a real good display of writers skills to the fore. Well done.
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Very well done. Great rhyme scheme and a wonderful twist at the end. I did not expect the "independence" in it.
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1 - 8 of 8
