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Lost Girl

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was beautiful and bloated,

a cold case, lost in the Mississippi

 

and made friends with weeds and reeds,

common cattails,

as I wove them into pretty crowns.

 

I liked the idea of you

much more than the actuality;

 

 

but you killed idealism

with a kitchen knife.

I suppose I should have believed you

when you said you prefer realism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

prompt 2:

3 years.

 

ophelia. by ~tori-f

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • camus gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    The fourth stanza is not only outstanding but resonates hauntingly within all those people who admit the mistakes they've made in love, particularly those who idealize. You have depth and talent, Chelsea.


  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    OOO this was gold. Love every word.

    Joe


  • Tzipora
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    wow. you make my whole body shiver when i read your writes.

    one of these days one of your writes are going to put tears in my eyes, there always so powerful and well done.

    i loved this(:


  • August Starlight silver member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    "I liked the idea of you
    much more than the actuality;"

    that is so relateable. omg. that is awesome.

    congrats on the HM!


  • Not-The-Sun
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    awesome, awesome work with the prompt. the last six lines brought this together, and the last two lines specifically were stunning. look here, "I should have believe you" maybe it should be "believed" ? the plot and theme behind this write is amazing : )


  • Kathraina silver member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    !!! you never cease to amaze me. this is pure brilliance hun genius!!


    ♥ .


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    aww wow, i keep wanting more!! haha, good luck!


  • crivanea silver member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    oh dear....i read this and i can't believe you think my poem is sad..lol..this is like an epic tragedy! i think of suicide..hmm..i also think of autopsy...chilling..haunting..wonderfully done


  • luna-midnight gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    muhahhaa, i love it..and he kitchen knife reminds me of me haha
    omg yours is so amazing though, im jealous like insannooo
    Stephanie ♥

  • luna-midnight gold member
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    hurry up hehehe

1 - 10 of 10