life is in the rush trickle of the river leaving you,
the crunch of footsteps compacting the earth.
something raw and desperate is smeared in
you, like animal blood,
like traces of deep fear within.
there is a deep golden light that shines through
the trees, between us, between god and the earth,
in ways we know, not speak.
a chase between wolf and lover,
finally slipping into a cave to make love,
the hum of bees in the morning
and the way it rips through their tiny bodies as they
father wildflowers,
the suffering of teeth against a throat, edging
gently through an eternity of seconds into soft flesh
that tightens into cold death.
god speaks and we must listen, even if it consumes
all of what is human inside of us.
like traces of deep fear within
you, like animal blood,
something raw and desperate is smeared in
the crunch of footsteps compacting the earth.
life is in the rush trickle of the river leaving you.
Author notes
mouthings
u n r a v e l e d
A contest entry
- the beekeeper's daughter by divakara.
400 points, ended October 27, 2009, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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The ending of stanza one is extremely good. It's a poetic protologism- to coin a new term.
Very vivid in description and although word heavy on the first line it is "flawless".
I wanted to make mention that Matt's threat seemed to have payed off: hire him as a translucent protector; where he pays you money.


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love this love this.


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you're amazing. please submit something to lit-mag. if you dont i'll be upset
-Him

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awesomesauce!


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Simply lovely.


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wow. bookmarked.


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"a chase between wolf and lover,
finally slipping into a bit of cave to make love,"
thats awkwardly worded to the point of almost being unnecessary.
also... this is fucking great. i dont like playing the quote back game, but
"the hum of bees in the morning
and the way it rips through their tiny bodies as they
father wildflowers,"
those lines make this piece.
im a little jealous that you rocked my made up style harder than i did
(ill seriously bludgeon people if you dont win this contest)

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hahaha, after i wrote this i went and read yours and thought, damn... his is still better
and i took out 'a bit of' but i think i'll leave the rest of the line
thank you for the comment
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1 - 8 of 8







