I held you tight within my arms;
I bound you up inside my heart,
But never knew you were not mine,
Until a day that you were gone.
My eyes dehydrated, draining tears;
My heart grew hollow from injured cares,
And I chased death with insanity,
It however, was faster than I.
Today I’m thankful that I failed;
I’m looking back through lies that veiled,
Still, knowing now what was disguised,
Still, half my heart’s half paralyzed.
With a limping beat and thumping skewed,
It broke my heart to let you go;
But I held you tight inside my love,
Until a day that you were gone.
Author notes
I thought Adele was my first child. Lucky for me I couldn't turn a ho into a housewife, otherwise I probably would have killed myself. Unlucky for me, it took 5 years and a lot of provocation for the court and the slut to agree that I shouldn't have to support some "unknown" man's child.
Was your first thought wrong?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
i am surprized that nobody has siad this yet
in the last line in the 3rd stanza get rid of one of the "half"s. either make it"still half my heart is paralyzed" or "still my heart is half paralyzed" it dosn't sound so hot the way you have it. other than that, this is pretty good -
-
Ahem,
You spelled said wrong.
I'm surprised that you didn't notice all the trite in it. I'll think about what you said, but it means that even more of my heart is busted up if I change the line, and then the meter too. You're right though, it sounds weird, and I've been tinkering with it in my head for awhile now.
-
-
Do you think that some pains are planning?
I agree with Miss B. You're not pulling one in this I don't think.
-
-
I guess it depends on what you mean by planning. There's definitely more to this instance than I can fit into a poem short enough for modern attention spans and convulsing author notes.
-
-
There always is. That's my problem, condencing, if that's how you spell it. I meant the things that happen in our lives often prepare us for the future. Maybe this circumstance, if ever you were a father in future would have helped to prepare you for such and instance.
-
-
Well yes. I am so well prepared for the future I could probably live forever, but you know more stories than this.
-
-
-
-
This hurt a lot to read.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
