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Twenty-something

remember the night
city streets
far from this wilderness

young and drunk
flexible
without inhibition

the electricity of exhibitionism
the crush of bodies
after last call


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • polly filla
    November 13
    Edit | Reply
    bristling with contact


  • mea-masako
    November 12
    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm..nice!


  • Parth Sawhney
    November 11
    Edit | Reply
    nice interesting piece..
    very well written..
    ~Parth.


  • Envelope
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    the crush of bodies, after last call, that brought this all together for me, made it feel right. Takes me to a place i never liked very much, but when i was there i appreciated it all the same, the sense of impaired mental function..ahh good times


  • xxBlack Dawnxx
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    i love this piece its sort of the stage im just breaking free from,
    kind of made me sit back and think about my life there for a second,
    very awsome poem and a great read,
    terri


  • IronIcecream
    October 29

    Edit | Reply

    there's something funny about this
    like being young, drunk and naked
    on highway at night
    avoided by cars and hit by
    an equally drunk and naked
    octogenary bycicle rider

  • abu nuwas
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    In all honesty...

    ....yes, I like these brief things, no doubt some labelled form, but it seems to me that the recollection of some drunks is something I could do without. My view.

  • Neef Kykmytros
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    I was in the wilderness then. So I can't say as I do remember. But these 26 words sure make me picture it as if I had been there and lived it.


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    i love this.. 26 words that say so much more than 26 words...with the right mood and imagery to jog the memory. enjoyed.


  • Balldinger silver member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    wished I could say yes, but then the last 3 lines force me to say yes. now it's my kids who are 20 something. wonder what they're doing, or should i even wonder...


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    I think this piece pivots beautifully on line 5 - today, we call it ambiquity but that night it was totality as I recall ... love this


  • Jersene gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    like mary, I love how you use flexible...and yes, I do remember those days


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    i do remember...



    al

    • Balldinger silver member
      October 27
      Edit | Reply
      you new yorkers sure remember well...nice job by the Yankees - wished I could say I was happy about it, but I'm not...


  • Cat gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    love the word flexible in here with all its connotations..
    hours and bodies and
    schedules... love this piece.

    m

  • Rowan gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    yes, I do. tight poem.
    nice shoes jan...
    winks


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    No kiddin' on the flexible part, Scribe. Once, we had a keg party at an old, deserted farmhouse. This kid fell down a steep flight of stairs with nails stickin' out. We were sure he'd been killed by the fall. Nope. Got up with nary a scratch on 'im. Hell. Twenty-something. That seems like eons ago to me now.
    I just turned 51. Wonder how the hell I accomplished it, too. Good luck in envelope's contest, Sweetie. As always, your quill pours purity ever so well. Intoxicating it is, too.



1 - 17 of 17