the two men you watched being hung
just a day ago
you remembered their bulging eyes
as they swung to and fro
they got caught cheating
in a poker game that day
one hid the ace of diamonds
the other, the ace of spades
their eyes were still bulging
their mouths held a rictus grin
they shuffled out of the saloon
and you cautiously moseyed on in
you didn't hear a sound
and you didn't see a soul
until you looked up into the rafters
and saw them all hanging in rows
you quickly emptied your stomach
coated your pants and your boots
wiped your mouth and turned to leave
and faced the gruesome two
their heads lolled to one side
as they smiled sideways at you
you should have never said anything
cause, well, you were cheating too
Author notes
1) Below, I've provided the beginning of the tale
2) You provide the rest
The past comes alive on this night.
As the wind howls through town,
tumbleweeds roll down the street.
All the windows and doors are shut tight.
In the distant hills,
a coyote calls.
If you listen closely,
you’ll hear a tune
as dance hall girls twirl.
Just down the street
out of the corner of your eye,
a door sways on creaking hinges.
You pause in the dark
and hear the sidewalk creek.
Out of the shadows,
A ghastly site -
A contest entry
- Ghastly Sight by west-word.
1400 points, ended November 3, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
GREAAAAAT!
I really do love your poetry, I am just a beginer. I thought I was making a ghastly site when I put on one of my poems-Mr. Motorcycle Man. I thought it was too harsh when I said your back was bloody and had whelps, and then I read your poem and saw it was about a hanging, and I said, it's OK, because my poem isn't so bad because I saw yours. I really really liked this poem.
-
oh. hey wow this is really really good. i like it. but then again i have not read anything of yours that i have not liked lol
-
-
Thank you
I REALLY appreciate your KIND comment. I am sure I have a few stinkers, but I am too lazy or procrastinating too often to edit them. You are more than welcome to indulge in my madness. I hope you read more and enjoy, but I can take constructive criticism. So don't pull any punches.
Thanks again..............
-
-
In 2007, I portrayed a young woman who was raped and hung by a slave master because she had "too much mouth". I was not type-cast. LOL That was simply one scene in a long line of scenes that made, "The Colored Funeral" one of the best plays I have ever been in. The hardest scene was the one I mentioned above. I actually had to wear a real noose about my neck. Thank God Intermission followed the scene because I usually wanted to vomit after the it was done.
Your vivid account of what happened in this poem, and your stellar imagination reminded me. It took me there. I got chills, and I will stop my comment now, as not to incur bad feelings and dreams.
A very emotional writ here poet. The last line was a unique twist, and I loved it! I wish you the best in the contest.
Always with LOVE & Respect ♥
Renee
-
-
Thanks
I really appreciate your comment. One day maybe you can star in a production of mine, directed by Mr. Lee!! -
-
I look forward to it!
-
-
-
Wow, i enjoyed reading this
~Renee
-
-
Thank you, Renee
I am glad you enjoyed my attempt.
-
-
This is very good with great imagination. I like it a lot.
-
-
Thanks
I'm glad you liked this... Thanks.
-
-
I got the shivers from reading this. It's vivid and scary. Best of luck in the contest; this is really good
-
-
Thank you
I really appreciate the read and your comment. Thanks again...
-
-
Thank you for your entry. Good luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
