Summer in umbra;
slight, tanned memory against
gold highlighted hair.
Rose wine, heavy in rooted vine,
a concentrate,
shrunk to expansion in tension.
I want to make our hearts race:
a herd of horses' hoof beats.
It will be easy --
they will run on the tune of Sarah,
as mine does now.
Oh! I love this song!
Its prolonged rush.
I think it is the strong lead of theme;
the weave of sultry voice,
emotional passion
and also a sensual maturity.
The entrance sentences,
stunning in climb of ladders,
up, down ...
and up again.
Oh! Such a sway of way ...
I need write this poem
before winter wipes memories
in its steady steep step-up of freeze.
Author notes
Prompt: Prelude to Winter
In a list
A contest entry
- Prompt 121 by crivanea.
700 points, ended November 10, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
creativity: 5/5
imagery: 5/5
diction: 4/5
impact: 7/10
Total: 21/25
clever in from...great use of poetic devices..nice voice..wonderfully done
-
-
Thank you so much for the Bronze ...
in this wondrous contest. What a pleasure to enter!
Love
Myra
-
-
lovely lines Myra but I thought it was almost spring over your way?
Opening stanza , my favorite.
d

-
Beautiful, inspirational and when I saw the title, I thought to myself "I need read this poem".
Love,
Amera

-
in its steady steep step up of freeze i loved your ending on this..................winter its wonder its beauty only when untouched by human dirty hands......pollution.....turning that white snow,,,,,into dirt.........
I love evergreens when they wear their coats of the purest and whitest of
that white stuff..........and each and every snowflakes that sparkles like the most
preciouse of jewles........a diamond........but a diamond,,.....has to be polished
cleaned up by human hands........sometimes this is called blood money..............
but a snow flake that is perfect and unique each one is different, for I have spent
almost half a life time looking at them.....and they bedazzle me all the time, if
there is such a word,,,,,,,,,i really dont know..........but in praise of Winter
and its splendour..................and I thank the huge evergreens that wear their coats of snow...and that makes me feel warm.........................


-
Ahhh...Romance
Ifonlies.
Loved the line "...before winter wipes memories
in its steady steep step-up of freeze..."
( I may use this myself someday, giving you credit of course ) lol

-
Lovely imagery in this! I like the way it jumps around to different things--from describing the season, to love, to a song, a poem, and to the next season. Something about your descriptions reminds me of the book "Blackberry Wine" by Joanne Harris. Excellent work
-
Evocative, romantic and excellently worded - a treat of a poem!
Very well done,
Bill

1 - 8 of 8










