As I Struggle to keep going
My mind is spent and exhaustions showing
I long for something to spark my fire
My Rockstar is what I desire
Eyes drooping, body aching, thoughts trailing
I count on my Rockstar, with energy unfailing
Sour to most but sweet to me.
Not so healthy but sugar free
I leisurely cherish one sip after the other.
When I’m done with one, I crave another
Its like a drug. I know I’m addicted
But if I’m not careful, harm may be inflicted.
There are pros and cons so I consider its worth
As I think it through there’s no greater on earth
My Motive, My Charge, My Tonic, My Bliss
I never thought Id find a Love Like This
What did you think
Comments
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Yes! This poem rules! I can totally relate to this one. I have called upon Rockstar many times. I like the purple one.


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Its not bad. One thing I would say is watch out for extra syllables. For example - the line 'But if I’m not careful, harm may be inflicted.' could have been 'Harm may be, if not careful, inflicted'. I'm not saying it should be (who am I after all to say such a thing) but it keeps the same sense but it has 10 syllables - a number that seems to fit better to me in some way. Just my first impression. Please accept my input as its meant to be - constructive.
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Nothing like a nighcap.

You did agreat job. That is a wonderful introduction poem.
Welcome to AP.
Stop by for a cupa coffee anytime.
Joe




