I saw the Demons boldly rise,
from flames within the pyre.
Clawing from the depths of Hell,
baptized within the fire.
Laying claim to all the souls,
who walk this world in sin.
Corrupting hearts so pure and good,
by twisting faith within.
Taking form in weakened hosts,
as vessels of their will.
Bringing on the end of days
in deeds of ageless skill.
I fear I hear their voices call,
frenetic host, so numb.
Fighting darkness in my mind,
I pray I don’t succumb.
Shadowed thoughts so deep and dark,
in many tongues they speak.
Blacking out my faith in light
and making me so weak.
Writing of their thoughts and schemes
in fictions to amuse.
Read these words and heed them well,
behold their timeless ruse.
For when they come, the test is faith,
to hold their will at bay.
Strong the heart who keeps his soul
in faith, so come what may.
Author notes
Pic prompt: Pic by Swan Song...
BG from http://www.the-trukstop.com/articles/2008/images/horror_wallpaper_2/demondesert.jpg
A contest entry
- CAN U SEE THE DEMONS? by Swan song.
700 points, ended November 7, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i like the use f the word frenetic in your poem skillfully rhymed well done
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dark and profound
weaving light and dark
very mysterious bringing brilliantly I might add fantasy and reality so close together.
I do agree your rhyme is so perfect it goes unnoticed
always exceptional...
God bless you my friend...
-
typo
oops, the word 'survive' should be after the brackets in my comment -
Fritz O'Romero
Well dude, if you ever get round to writing a slightly demonic take on the Romero Zombie genre, with the twist being only those with faith (perhaps in the little bit of humanity in people, rather than overtly religious faith) you might have yourself a suitably appocalyptic opening voiceover for an opeing scene setting montage leading to a panic stricken action sequence... -
Amazing Piece
There is such depth in this intricate work, darling...my favourite line penned is "twisting faith within" how easy it is for one to twist faith to consume its meaning and weave it into something it shoulders in want or for naught. I felt this set the tone for everything else in this work the strength you write with is incredible.
Sometimes when I read you I have to take a pause for you often gift me a moment of suspiration then one of reflection to ponder the madness that begets a mere moment in life’s struggle against life’s foe. Dark penned perfection darling my heartfelt thank you for this most intriguing work.
Lady E
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Beautifully macabre...
I like the direction you've gone with the prompt and I love the background...it has great texture. The rhyme is perfect, though almost un-noticed...as rhyme should be- subtle and unforced. I really need to read more of your work bro. It's been consistant for me.
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awesome
write you have done my friend....
great rhyme and flow through out...
kinda got a bit of the old supernatural ting going on
with this one.....
loved this bit.....
Taking form in weakened hosts,
as vessels of their will.
Bringing on the end of days
in deeds of ageless skill.
great stuff dude as always..
love
Jayde
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Excellent
write you have penned
impressive as alawys
love this stanza..
Taking form in weakened hosts,
as vessels of their will.
Bringing on the end of days
in deeds of ageless skill.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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Charming, delightful!
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This has such great imagery and flow...I sense the weakness within us all to give into the darkness that lingers on the periphery of light, hanging there by the thinnest of threads....GREAT PIECE!!!!
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Well done Fritz, your flow is perfect. I still don't have much time, things going on in my life at the moment and I don't seem to be able to get stuck into writing. I hope I will soon get back again. Your creative output never ceases to amaze me, not so much the amount but in the quality of what you chose to do.
Sheila
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Wowsers. I like it! Your meter is hypnotic. Maybe you're even one of 'them'
shudder
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