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This Cancer Thing

darkness over took the light

as my demise was put on hold

 

devastating news I heard them say

turned my soul to icy cold

 

treatments would be needed

to overcome my fears

am I strong enough for the challenge

can I refrain from fighting tears

 

thoughts of change boggled my mind

dreading fear of the unknown

trembling hands in desperation

will my body turn to stone

 

all of a sudden light filled the darkness

I regained my strength once again

many have suffered this test before me

I believe my faith will help me win

 

values changed quickly in my heart

material things I no longer need

 

I have my family and friends for support

with their love I will fight and succeed

 

I am a strong survivor of natural pain

with loving arms around me I will win this cancer thing

 

 

Author notes

*POM Contest*...
I have been cancer free for ten years...

A contest entry

Please comment...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Rend the Veil gold member
    October 31
    Edit | Reply
    I have commented on this on as I said before
    this is penned with deep emotions, one who’s
    had cancer can relate to, it leaves one filled
    with hope and in the end, mercy and grace
    Is shown, the beauty of this write is powerfully
    written, well done poet, and good luck in the contest
    Love and blessings
    oh By the way, I learned the number thingy

    Rend


  • ZachP gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply

    I cannot deny that this is a powerful poem, dear poet;

    and I congratulate you on your ten year anniversary! What a blessing! 

    But as Bear showed you, with the PO' contest, we have to view the emotion as only one factor . . . and get to the truth about poetry.

     

    your title . . . I think you could've been *much* more creative and clever here.

     

    darkness vs. light . . . very common, though I'm guilty of using it just as much . You use it a number of times in the poem, and that dilutes its power!

     

    also . . . few caps and no punctuation can take a toll on the flow of your poem. I understand that's one of the big things about poetry; but I do believe in its power . . . however, I didn't have a huge problem with it in your poem.

     

    Just a couple of poetic things, that reflect heavily on your poem. I know that since this is *such* a personal poem, it might come off as something of an attack; and for that I apologize, because that is *not* my intention.

     

    Thank you for your entry! My scores shall come in the contest notes.


    Best wishes,

    Zach 

     

     

     

     

     


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 29
    Edit | Reply

    This site has just ruined my whole review of your work....I am tryintg to get it to work -

    Hello



    I am finding *over took* as one word -



    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/overtook



    As alreadsy mentioned in some reviews.....this is such a common Theme....and although personal to you, you have to remember when you come to the PO'Contests, you have to bring Creativness and Unusal Themes to really capture my attention -



    I am sooooo glad you are cancer free....my Ex-wife has just been diagnosed with vaginal cancer ( vein III )



    Let my board say the rest



    God bless you....good luck!



    Bear -



    Title 5.95....I would not click on this Title....unless I wanted to read about this Genre -

    Flow 9.8....great Flow...pun.c's are not used & you still chose the right words to create good Flow -


    Depth 9.2.. ....for only 22 L's allotted to you....you made the best of them.....but there is only so much you can say about this Theme.....do not take that personal please.....I have to judge the entry....not you -

    Theme 5.95.....most common Theme....but the more you join us, the more you'll know -

    Feelings 9.85...not lacking in this area like others in this contest...nice job in this area of critique-

    Grammar 9.0....pretty straight-forward write -

    Presentation 9.9...you broke up your thoughts into smaller and larger S's (S's = Stanzas )....and that helps the Flow...love the formatting... -

    Uncommonness...5.85..Theme has been done a few times very similiar...but your approach is quite nice....just bring your Creativity next time....and please do not pull your work if you get mad at my review...or it bans you from returning.....if you get upset with me, please pull it after the contest closes....'cause I like your talent and would like to seeyou return again and again -

    Sit & Ponder Affect 9.0...I did ponder....briefly -

    Ability to follow Rules 10.0...nice job -
















    Bears Score: 84.5


    Can you see where you lost about 15 points?


    It has everything to do with Theme.....I hope you writing about this has helped ....just remember though....when you come back to the POM Contests, we look for Creativity....fair?


  • Frogzter gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on being cancer free and thanks for entering. Its inspiring.

    Title........ 8
    Flow.......8
    Depth......9
    Theme....9
    Feelings....10
    Grammar...8
    Presentation...9
    uncommoness...8
    Sit and Ponder...8
    Rules.........10

    Your total: 87

  • Rend the Veil gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    I am not really into this number thingy,
    all i know is how this write effected me
    and it was powerful, as far as it being unique
    its unique to you because of what you had to endure
    and I commend you for your courage and strength

    love and blessings

    Rend


  • Mirthryl
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    What a great challenge, and power in attitude. Excellent encouragement ing "many have suffered this test before me," and subsequent reassessment of what things are vital to happiness. Congrats on the 10 years cancer free!


  • MichaelSavage gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 8, not unique
    Flow: 10
    Theme: 9
    Feelings: 10
    Grammar: 8..needs punctuation
    Presentation: 9
    Uncommoness: 8
    Sit and Ponder: 7
    Depth: 9
    Follow Instructions: 10

    Total Points: 88
    Sorry to hear about what you went through. Good job on this.
    Michael
    No editing once a Judge has touched your work -


  • Paloszoo gold member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write! I really admire you and what you’ve gone through. Having cancer is one of my biggest fears (and yet I’m a smoker). You’ve penned this beautifully. It’s very inspirational. I would only suggest that you add end line punctuation. Good luck in the contest!


  • islekine gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply

    Way to go!

    Keep up the fight...and the great poetry! Best wishes in the contest...
    although you will probably lose some points...since this has been written many times...not as you have written it however! Be well and blessed!
    Thanks for sharing!

    and


  • arafura gold member
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    Very strong and emotive writing. I'm glad you are a survivor my friend!

  • ricachic gold member
    October 25
    Edit | Reply

    Certainly glad it is behind you, I'm watching and waiting, no fear, survived worse, good write, gives hope to others.

    Rick


  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    moving poem.i have just written of cancer m,,,i am glad you are free of it


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    The turning cold,
    moving as if by autmation,
    learning, learning, learning
    the new language, the numbers
    so important to decisions,
    strange new world.

    Survivors can be the best medicine,
    been there, done that, survived!!

    An inspiring piece, Mary.
    May your faith continue to buoy you.

    M-C

  • SimplySonnets gold member
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    A magnificent victory well fought. Your words bring hope for those who continue their battle, thank you.

  • mcheadle
    October 24

    Edit | Reply

    A tough battle to fight.

    I believe there are more winners as time moves along. I keep my fingers crossed and it has been 26 years. God bless all who have this to contend with...mac

  • Bob Fox
    October 24
    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    the power of love and the devastating effects of cancer. who wins out? I fell the pain but also the love. well done.


  • The Drifter
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    Inspiring, truely inspiring. My the LORD bless and keep you. Yes your FAITH will carry you through.
    So very well written with a smooth flow. The reader can actually feel with you while reading this poem.
    Thank you so much for sharing. I am grateful.

    • amysticwriter silver member
      October 24
      Edit | Reply
      Didn't mean to mis-lead...I am a three time cancer survivor...'93, '96, '99...free for ten years...believe it is gone...

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