I.
Where ever I am, your fingers
will stroke shadows, fire
caught in nails. Candles lit
dance inside effervescence, individual
pyres, released to a breath, a tongue.
II.
Courage is found
after the accomplishment.
Until then, only shivers of necessity,
blind allegiances to standards
create footprints others call hallowed.
III.
The feel of your arms
holds memories -- dreams me,
keeps distance empty voracious.
The wind, traitorous, stirs my skin.
I would be touching you.
IV.
When the delivery of freedom,
the contraction and contradiction of humanity,
has been accomplished, it will
no longer be required to go to the mountain top.
I can't wait to kiss you in the turmoil of homecoming.
V.
Ulysses, Alexander, Dwight E.
Troy, Tripoli, Nagasaki and what comes next --
separation, dedication, Ideals --
white crosses posted in sand,
Chrysanthemums of “I love you.”
10:14 AM
10-24-09
Dulles International Airport
Author notes
I heard vignettes and images sharp and creative done in five or ten lines each. I hope this fits the requirements.
In a list
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
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very beautiful about a very trying vision of our times. sober without being negative. and a smidgeon of hope. I like it.
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You should know, I am a Quaker and a pacifist. I believe in being for something. I am pro peace, absolutely. I wanted to catch with this poem the longing for the love one, the sense of duty that drives the man and perhaps what I view as the insanity of it all. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace,
Tom B.
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I really like the language of this poem. It has an interesting tone and it's not too difficult too read, while still remaining interesting to read. Very good poem!
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The quality of a work of art is not found in their devices, nor in the size of the statement attempted. Quite simply, all that really matters is the feeling left in the viewer.
Thanks,
Tom B.
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truly lovely....
that first paragraph is truly astounding!
well done!
Truly a poetic feast!
ears/Kathleen/Sis -
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thanks
I wanted to catch the sense of longing, the feeling of permanence and impermanence that passion creates. Glad you enjoyed.
Love,
Tom B.
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This is wonderful. I loved your choice of words throughout. I really can't decide which part is my favourite; it's all great.
I'm sorry to say this but I am going to have to delete the contest instead of judging it due to lack of entries.
Great piece though. I wish you the best of luck in the other contest that this is entered in.
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Sorry you had to delete the contest. Thanks for giving me the inspiration. I appreciate the points. While what knocked me into high gear was a solider back on leave from Iraq talking to a woman in the smoking area at Dulles, your contest was holding the space open in my head. I love vignettes and the idea of a separate metaphor in each one was highly intriguing. Sorry more people were not interested. I am going to have to add you to my favorites just so I can stay on top of your contests. This is the second I have seen and both were very smart and well thought out.
Peace, Tom B.
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I can feel the passion and heart that went behind this wonderful write
to you dear friend really tugged
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Thank You Much
It is really listening to a solider talk about how he missed "his girl"
Peace,
Tom B.
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so sweet and inspiring....
i wish i could be a God/dess of words like you...lol..
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I dont think i completely understand this, but as much as i can, it is truly beautiful
especially the second stanza, love it
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Love and duty. Since man put family first and felt war was the way to protect it, the man on the front lines has had his love in his heart and torn between duty to country and love. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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damn.
love,
jin
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Thanks (probably a lot more could be said but that is all that is needed)
Love,
Tom B.
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great read! i can really feel your raw emotion in this poem, and your longing as well.
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Thank you I am honored
So few words, such a strong response. It is always a gift when my talent strikes the right notes and others respond.
Peace,
Tom B.
You might find it interesting, Ginsberg's "Message" was the impetus for me to start writing poetry.
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A very beautifully composed poem -your choice of words are excellant-'blind allegiance to standards create footprints others call hallowed'-Ulysses, Alexander, Dwight E.
Troy, Tripoli, Nagasaki and what comes next --
separation, dedication, Ideals --
white crosses posted in sand,
Chrysanthemums of “I love you.”- I really like the way you have used 'comes next --''ideals --'it says so much -bonita:
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If I was a sure of life's roller coaster as you are of what you enjoy. Oh my! Glad you enjoyed. The line separation, dedication, ideals was to catch the causes of conflict and they are always what comes next. We seem to love the drama of war as much as the sweetness of romance. I am glad you found so much, thank you.
Peace & Light
Tom B.
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A grandmaster as always :)
My cousin was just sent overseas to play out a game not introduced by him. He is in Bahrain, and I couldn't help thinking of him and his newlywed young wife as I read this. Beautiful work!
-H
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May they be reunited with time the only thing they have lost.
Love,
Tom B.
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This piece is amazing. My favourite stanza is the second:
"Courage is found
after the accomplishment.
Until then, only shivers of necessity,
blind allegiances to standards
create footprints others call hallowed."
How often this is true. We spend our lives searching for the courage to see things through, and it's only after the event that we find that courage. The final stanza so accurately sums up the horrors of war that I can hardly find words to describe it, but I will try:
"Ulysses, Alexander, Dwight E.
Troy, Tripoli, Nagasaki and what comes next --
separation, dedication, Ideals --
white crosses posted in sand,
Chrysanthemums of “I love you.”"
War is about ideals, and that's all it's about. This poem really opens your eyes to the horrors of it, in the way that those we think of traditionally as War Poets do, and did.
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I have learned you can't tell anyone anything. You can awaken and show. In the showing, you can stir and touch. They still have to decide what is an isn't true. I know how romantic this site is and how much all of us know the importance of our loved ones. War always destroys somebody's loved one. The rest, I have done things others have said were courageous or brave. I never thought about either. I was only doing what had to be done. Even reason took to much time, it is already bred into you, the sense of duty, your commitment to those who are part of your team. Everything else is foolishness.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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A very stunning thought...white crosses in the sand telling a story that you can't turn away from.
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Visit Arlington Cemetery, go to France, Japan every country has its meadow, hillside of men who never came home to the ones they love. 'nuff said.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Lovely Poem
Very touching and warm to the heart, yearning for the dear love to see you through. Yes what follows, more of the same I fear.
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War never changes only the love ones who never come home.
You would think we would have found some other way to express our beliefs and our greed than with swords, bullets, and bombs.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Well done, my Friend! I enjoyed the read!
Congrats on being Featured, Oct. 25, 2009!
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I was touched and honored to have any poem of mine featured by any group. This is the first I had heard of this, when RendtheVeil told me. Glad you enjoyed it.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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You are a beautiful soul. Honestly, when I read your work I can feel the depth from which you write. I often run out of words to express how your poetry moves me. Just know that it does.
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It is always good to know that I have touched someone. Each poem is its own creation and because of that I am blessed each time one accomplishes this hardest of goals. Thank you.
Love, Tom B.
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I especially liked the third piece, Tom. Wind can indeed be a traitorous reminder of a feeling our skin remembers all too well. I've been doing some vignettes in the past few months, too. I enjoy them immensely. Thank you for entering this in my contest. Good luck.
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Thanks
I am in love with this form. Have been since high school. I am still learning.
Peace & Love,
Tom B.
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simply beautiful and lays softly upon the hearts bank of memories...tender words of longing and need to be with and to touch the one so do deeply loved...niaish my friend for sharing and good luck in the contest..
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Even a pacifist can understand the longing of the heart of a warrior.
Love, Tom B.
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I absolutely adore this stanza:
"The feel of your arms
holds memories -- dream me,
keeps distance empty voracious.
The winds, traitors, stir my skin.
I would be touching you. "
should it be "holds" or "hold", I feel like some of the plurals in that stanza are off, or maybe it just sounds wrong in my head =)
Overall, a strong, evocative write
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I made the plurals consistent. I realized that expectations are as important as grammatical correctness.
Love,
Tom B.
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that was a very beautiful poem. excellent job!!
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Thanks for the compliment
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Strong, surrounding currents to saturate one's self in...
I found a stand-out in each Vignette offered:
"individual
pyres, released to a breath, a tongue"
"create footprints others call hallowed"
"can't wait to kiss you in the turmoil of home coming"
Each sings of a necessity to soul. Each mires itself in
sustenance of desire. Blue
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This is one of those that wrote me more than I wrote it. Shows the influence of poets I am reading currently. But, of course. We are all sponges.
Love,
Tom B.
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This feels very much like a letter written by a soldier homesick and missing the one he adores.
"shivers of necessity,
blind allegiances to standards
create footprints others call hallowed"
I can ony nod with a lump in my throat thinking of all those who serve in the name of duty, sometimes with no explanation at all, other than they are called. You hint at so much more.
This is so worthy of the recogonition, Tomis. So many of your poems are. I'm privileged to be among those who read them.
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The heart is only a mystery to those who will not feel its richness.
Thanks for having faith in my skill and ability. My English Composition teacher in the class I am taking now, told me I was his top student. I wasn't sure how to deal with the recognition. I have spent so much of my life in anxiety trying to be good enough and hearing every cut and slice as the truth, it is hard to learn to hear otherwise. But, I am willing and learning. The truly brave and courageous in my experience and I have been called those things as well, only do what need be done. It isn't about trying to be the accolades. You can't. It is about duty, standards, what need be done. It is why you hear so often, I didn't do anything more than anyone else would of done in my place.
Love,
Tom B.
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wow that was beautifull.
congrats on being today's feautureee. -
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Thank you
for taking the time to let me know how it touched you.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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Creativity is the vitality, nurishing the soul. There is no better way to write than this.
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Thank You Much
Written in the smoking lounge off the B concourse of Dulles Airport between banks of planes. A solider is telling a young lady how he makes it through his time in Afghanistan because he has to make it home to his girl. Everything was a gift that day. Glad you enjoyed.
Peace,
Tom B.
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So incredibly Capitivating. Excellent.
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Thank You Much
I am only the bearer of the gift, I am glad you were pleased as it opened before you.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Loved Verse II- You stated it quite eloquently!
well done poet!
well done!
strength and beauty in these vignettes!
ears/Seattle sis
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I wanted to catch the strength in vulnerability. Love calls us home and often is the only guardian we have to keep our spirit safe until we are in the arms of the one we love.
Peace,
Tom B.
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Woah I had chills all the way through the write wow thank you for sharing this amazing write good luck poet
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Thanks
for taking the time to visit and share how it touched you.
Peace,
Tom B.
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you are Featured!!!
this write is so moving,
it touches a place were deep seeded
love grows, honor is a badge to be
cherrished you have captured brillance
in this piece,
You are Featured In "Todays Poem Group"!
Love and blessings
Rend
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Thank you I am honored
War doesn't want anyone to be a hero, it creates them out of necessity. We are all tender and vulnerable in the places where love is created. To be torn away and placed in one of the circles of hell ..., I have heard to many say they made it because of the need to come home to the one we love, as war destroys the home of loved ones.
I am truly complimented to be featured as a poem for your group to read. Quite and honor.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This is pure dedications on two sides of the fence...To his lady love and his duty to his country...I was sad until I read it the second time and I saw the home coming....candles lights and sweet romance so well deserved. Each versafication touched my heart this time; like you would never beleive....It took me on a long journey, a memory of days long past.....an excellent poem with your golden touch & talented pen.......novy
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Thank You Much
Separation and Duty, Death and Desire, Fires in the night and camps on the hillside.
Peace,
Tom B.
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This is emotionally overwhelming to me, beautifully written, the heart of a man torn between love and duty. The form and alternations you have used are ingenious, your phrases are alive. Most of all, it makes me cry.
Love,
Camille
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Vignette four, line four (be) required.
This reminds me of the softness of water eroding away the obstacle of rock. The fraility of our humanity which makes our deeds so great and memorable. -
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Thanks for proof reading and catching the typo.
We are so fragile and vulnerable and hurl ourselves into battle when we only want to be home with the one we love.
Peace,
Tom B.
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I thought this might be good when I wrote it. I was in the smoking section on break at Dulles. There was a solider telling a woman who had asked who he really missed. It wasn't family or friends, but it was "his girl." I wanted to catch this and how this has gone on for history. Call it freedom from war or peace, perhaps we should call it no longer murdering our young.
I am touched deeply by how much this moves you. For I am sure, like me, you cry at sad movies, but at the same time resent those who try to play on your feelings. If these simple words and images touched you deep enough to move tears, I am honored.
Love,
Tom B.
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