Verse 1
please hear the cries of those who died
killed for their creed or race
such suffering should haunt us all
as humankind’s disgrace
is etched on every face
Verse 2
please be informed, do not conform
bullies want to incite
the powerful condemn the weak
how can they sleep at night
with such a ghostly sight?
Chorus
Namibia, Armenia, Cambodia, Iran
the list is long, the toll is high
we kill because we can
Afghanistan, Liberia, Biafra and Japan
too many dead, too many cry
at heartlessness of man
Verse 3
please heed the price of sacrifice
villains wielding power
for who knows when roles will reverse
no one sees the hour
so all of us must cower
Verse 4
please be their voice, they have no choice
blood stains blanket the earth
it’s up to us to change the tide
and work for a rebirth
where each man feels his worth
Chorus
Namibia, Armenia, Cambodia, Iran
the list is long, the toll is high
we kill because we can
Afghanistan, Liberia, Biafra and Japan
too many dead, too many cry
at heartlessness of man
Bridge
we know too much to tolerate
examples of this type of hate
they die as we procrastinate
the time has come to educate
Chorus
Namibia, Armenia, Cambodia, Iran
the list is long, the toll is high
we kill because we can
Afghanistan, Liberia, Biafra and Japan
too many dead, too many cry
at heartlessness of man
Author notes
Your prompt:: Current Affairs - take it where you will.
Sources:
http://www.scaruffi.com/politics/dictat.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genocides_in_history
http://www.historyplace.com/worldhistory/genocide/index.html
http://www.genocideintervention.net/educate/genocide
http://www.ushmm.org/genocide/take_action/genocide/
Future challenge: I borrowed this idea from masterblaster. Take a topic (your choice or ours) and write two poems submitted together. One must be freeverse and the other rhyming form (again your choice or ours).
In a list
A contest entry
- The Ultimate La-La Challenge: Round 8 - Top Ten by Laura Lamarca.
1150 points, ended October 28, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Very well done, I like where you took this and we should have much more of "this" type of song in the world, i could see someone like Bob Marley or Neil Young singing this. Great job... Scott
-
Rivers Run Red
First impression: 10/10
Relative to prompt: 10/10
Creativity with prompt: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 10/10
Flow, Melody/Rhythm etc: 10/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's personal effort: 10/10
Song's "profound" effect: 10/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Last impression: 10/10
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 5/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 115/115
Aha! That's where you got the idea for a form and a free verse. grumble grumble grumble.
Where would we be if not for the poets and the songwriters who stand on human rights issues and fight for a better world? Oh we have such a long way to go before we become less self centered with our fight for human rights and more focused on the needs of the human race.
Sometimes, I wonder if we need a world disaster to bind us as a unit. We are still so focused on our diversity that it is difficult to see how we can ever approach a topic from a standpoint of true unity.
A stellar and hard hitting presentation. Your mechanics and message are absolute perfection in my book. Thank you. ~Pamela
-
Rivers Run Red:
First impression: 9/10
Relative to prompt: 10/10
Creativity with prompt: 10/10
Balance of abstraction/imagery: 10/10
Flow, Melody/Rhythm etc: 10/10
Cohesion: 5/5
Use of poetic device in general: 10/10
Poet's personal effort: 10/10
Song's "profound" effect: 9/10
Rules followed: 5/5
Last impression: 9/10
Extra credit points:
Sportsmanship to fellow competitors: 5/5
Points for stepping away from comfort zone: 5/5
Respectful behaviour towards judges at all times: 5/5
Total score: 112/115
To say you've never penned lyrics before, this is mighty impressive. Your content is gritty and keeps hold of your audience's attention well.
laura.
-
i love your chorus!!! ohhh i do think this is the first ;poem i've read in this contest so far that have used such an extensive list of current affair" related theme...what a topic you choice to compose about..astonishing both in your approach as well as your poetic language..well done
-
The chorus and bridge were my favorite parts - easy to remember and powerful in their message. Sometimes it is easy to forget that holocausts happened all over the world.
-
"they die as we procrastinate"
Such powerful impact in that line alone.
Your voice soars within this whole piece.
-
This sends a strong message to society. It reminded me of the Black Eyed Peas' "Where is the Love?" - though I would imagine this song being sung by someone of a much higher caliber vocally. I enjoyed this - and I like the title.
-
-
This Challenge has been a great challenge. I've never written lyrics before, and I have a tin ear so I can't hear the music in my head. I'm kind of a wonk so I love doing the research. Thanks for your comments. Peace, Liz
-
-
The song has the power to educate, people remember lyrics for lifetimes, sometimes; and your choices here would imprint on minds, esp young minds- the idea that these were bad ideas, terrible wrongs, mistakes not correctable, and for the future such things that we must work to avoid-- the chorus suggests a rhythm and to me a melody too... I like this a lot...PK
-
-
Lyrics are not my forte but I was trying to at least develop a catchy chorus. I am very pleased that you enjoyed it. Peace, Liz
-
-
This is really fabulous Liz! You certainly attacked the the current affairs with a force! Just brilliant! Sure looks gold to me!
Best wishes again
-
-
I can't believe I never considered the possibility of love affairs...just jumped right into current events. This has been a very interesting challenge and I enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. Peace, Liz
-
-
This is great! I absolutely love the chorus- hauntingly lyrical. Often times messages ring louder in song than plain spoken word (like speaches). I love the message you have brought here- something that needs attention.
Very well done
Kris
-
-
This is my first try at writing lyrics and it is a great deal harder than I thought. I read lyrics online and found that many of them sounded wonderful as songs but lacked something as written. Since this has no music I can't disguise bad writing. I tried to develop a rhythm as you did in your X Factor lyrics. It was fun but frightening at the same time. Thanks for your wonderful comment. Peace, Liz
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
