horndog whore take time into nowhere for a place to sit in peace

what would i have on the pizza... you ordered a plain cheese
but i would have pineapple and chicken
and you hesitated as i added the chicken with the pineapple
-more money with another topping
and my face returned yours with a twist

i'm beginning to see the pattern i've been missing

we were gonna sit down to some tables and i didn't sit with him
as you sat across from me
-i don't even really enjoy you
you're all pumped up- reminding me of me
so the crease in my forehead deepens like a fracture

and i end up handing over all my crystals to him
and i can't remember why, but i do
and my mojo bag is open and empty
and he's got this look on his face
(what's he supposed to do with the crystals)
was i giving them to him?
-of course, now that i see i've already handed them over,
but i don't make it quite clear... just hold them awhile, i
telepathically try to convey to him

and this morning, i wake up
and mention i've got orange lollipops for the little boy
he's all ready to suck one down
and then she walks out and tells me i've got my thinking
all screwed up around
..."because it is, it's meant to be"... and so it is, that i believe
and think this way...
and i don't understand why i keep getting messages sent
to me about my time-loss on others
and my irrational expectations for a made-up world
all in my head

i've made myself an espresso
and have yet to drink it and smoke my
first cigarette for today
and i've already been up for an hour

my eyes want to spill over in tears that would
go on for days
and my body wants to curl into a ball in the black hole
where i could sleep for weeks, months...

and [he's] coming over sometime later to change
the bike seat for my new 15 speed
and i don't know what will come out when i see him
or how my face will form

will it be alright if i don't want him to touch me?
it smothers me and suffocates me
and i don't even know why i would see me to be
on a bike-ride 1/2 an hour to my house
when the door won't even welcome you in

(of course, that's not on my part, but the madame of
the house, to be clear)