Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

reason is the catapault of treason


I'm the mute kid in a choir-

present,
but with nothing discernible to add

even words desert me
and interest
is only ever accrued on funds deposited

excitement is a commodity uncommon
as evidenced

by the creak of a rocking chair,
the clunk of ice in an unaccompanied vessel
and the saline moisture spewing forth
from decomposing leftovers;

at least now I understand

for experience has enlightened
and execution is something
I can not decide on receiving,
or indeed delivering-

but I know this

recognition is redundant
in relation to my own nomenclature,
invisible, like blind hope
that I can no longer carry

and still

I can not ascertain why...








Author notes

N O M D E P L U M E

prompt:

"I am a living question mark
I can feel it
Eating below my skin."

A contest entry

thanks for commenting

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Damn Rob ...

    "and the saline moisture spewing forth
    from decomposing leftovers;" --> something about those lines in this whole piece shut me up; quickly

    nothing short of pure poetry and brilliance here ... naturally


  • sighingflosser.
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    I'm the mute kid in a choir-
    -after that line, i thought 'cliche'. right away.

    but then you added this:

    present,
    but with nothing discernible to add


    and it blew me away.

    this piece is intense. you did an amazing job with the prompt given.

  • Where is your signature rhyme/assonance woven throughout the poem? Haha, I'm just busting your chops. Seriously though, I love this, it's different from the others, and it's refreshing to see you do something different - and you still maintain your voice here.


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    is there a bit of regret within these lines? they are beautifully penned as always...
    and you leave me thinking....thats what an amazing author does..  


  • midnight51
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds very deep rooted almost with a tinge of regret for not being able to understand why. S5 was very nice especially.


  • Lo Justin
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I liked the rhythm. The words punctuated each other. It felt thesaurusy at times. The ending especially. There were some great images, and phrases, but I didn't come away with the message. The title, too, left me confused. Perhaps that was the point of it all. Overall, I liked it, but I'd have a hard time telling you why. Good job on this.
    Lo


  • World So Cold
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Epicly Awesome!


  • Rend the Veil gold member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    I can not begin to say all the words
    that would give you the honors that you
    deserve for this very deeply written heartfelt piece
    just stuning !!
    love and blessings to you

    Rend








  • stef-witt gold member
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    (*hugs*)


1 - 9 of 9