the Deffinition of Dreaming for Psychos.

I fall asleep finally,
i hate closing my eyes,
feels like there's someone there,
something there.

I fall asleep achingly,
hard to swallow when I'm sleeping,
feels like i'm choking,
makes me vomit,
they get mad tho,
so i clean it up.

I fall asleep crying,
tryin to wipe it away
as best I can,
but I just heave in the dark,
alone.
they get mad though,
when I get like this.

I fall asleep,
but I just awake again,
eyes bleeding,
I'm not awake,
I can't be awake.
because no ons mad yet.

I'm asleep,
I don't wake up for hours,
I dream of breaking,
of hurting them all,
but I don't want to,
I don't mean to.
they're mad at me tho,
for what I did,
but i didn't mean to.

***

I wake up pulling at the sheets,
feels like i need to retch,
i do and they get mad.

I wake up sweating,
feels like I need to be bleeding,
so I bleed,
but they just get mad.

I wake up crying,
feels like I need to hurt something,
so I do,
i hurt something,
someone,
but they just get mad.

I wake up screaming,
arms taught,
legs writhing,
brain twitching,
but they're not mad,
they're dead,
because I'm not awake,
I'm just asleep still,
give me time.

I wake up holding myself,
because no one else will.
wake up wanting the warmth
to be someone else's.

I wake up crying
but not because of the dreams,
because the walls are white
and i can't do anything but hold me,
my body's armor wont let me,
now its me that's angry,
why'd they have to send me here?