You once told me of your hair
How it fell about your face
You worried that it was the best part of you
And guess what - it was
For your betrayal has left me wondering
If I ever saw past the blonde hair
You did well to hide behind it
Your real sly, evil self
I watched and waited to catch you out
But one flick of your hair and I was captivated
You distracted me, tormented me
But you won't do it anymore
The truth has come out
I know who you are
And coincidentally
The hair no longer remains
Author notes
Written on 13th April at 02:16 GMT
Grr grrrrrrrrr
In a list
- memories I wish to forget • next in list
- trophy 2 - silver • next in list
- written for contests • next in list
- all for the anger and hatred of... • next in list
- 11-20 • next in list
- rhyme: none • next in list
A contest entry
- Body Image by LesbianOfLove.
510 points, ended November 15, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Great work here! This really got me thinking that we typically hide behind our material items and our wealth, status and class. And we have a society in which we now reflect those things in our own body's, we attempt to. Putting too much worth into things that shouldn't mean so much. And we are obsessed with it, hypnotized by it. Great work here! Thanks for you for entering and good luck!
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I liked the twist in this one, the strong sense you gave of being bewitched, and using the metaphor of the hair to bring it out.
The ending somewhat jarred me, though, as if there was more to say; but beyond that---nice job! -
Great job! I love the idea of this as well as the flow of it. I never read a poem like this ( the idea of it i mean ~ ^) but it was very good and loved the plot of the poem. Keep up the great work! and thanks for da lovely read! ^^
~Erika...The Great...~ -
You did a great job on this. I love the idea of them hiding behind their hair. My grandmother used to get on me for having my bangs in my face, said it meant I had something to hide...lol, I swear I was an angel
Anyway... great job on this poem, best of luck to you in the contest.
take care
~whisper
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