Your influence is as vast
As the starry ocean -
Though my dreams
Entwined in lost dreams;
Were broken over chance.
The emerald haze passes over,
From touching the gilded pool of tears -
My madness passed.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt by Diminished Capacity.
1075 points, ended November 8, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"vast as the starry ocean" sounds pretty a little cliche. "though my dreams entwined in lost dreams" is repetitive. love the metaphor and imagery.
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I normally don't put two words so close together. I try to avoid being repetitive, but in this instance, that line there is the essence of the poem. So I couldn't compromise it, despite its repetitive nature.
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I enjoyed the inference of your first two lines, in that at night, the ocean reflects the star's glowing as though it contains stars itself. Your final trio of lines holds a sense of acceptance and melancholy, yet one of hope, since you've indicated that the "madness" had left you, leaving you largely intact and still able to dream once more. Good luck in the contest, Poet.
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