monotony in progress.

the lead is weighing down my fingertips and i'm trying to type, i'm trying to breathe, trying to move.

it's not working.


the overwhelming sense of impending doom is enough to make me insane. i write and i talk and i drive, i'm a creature of habit. everything always goes according to plan. i have the same toast every morning and the same tea for lunch every day. this chain of monotony is linked into the very fiber of my being and i don't know how to break it.

i don't know how to be spontaneous and impulsive and when i am i can't control it and catastrophe results. rumors and lies spread and image is questioned. it's like putting a heated fork under your skin and letting the flesh sizzle. it's making scars that are never gonna go away.

impressions. memories.




this will never fade.


then i just fall back into routine. robotic movements. automatic reactions. metal joints and oil hinges just waiting to fall apart, and break at the first sign of rust. 
i need change.







anything.


i just need something different.


























take me away from here?