I feel it rising.
That dark place inside of me.
This dichotomy is coming up again.
Sharp as daggers egging on,
Hot as fire wanting more.
It burdens like the plague,
Devastating ever more.
I feel the pain is rising.
The words are hypnotizing.
Say what you will,
My hands, again, are shaking.
Rising ever more,
Tears fall from my grace.
Please make it stop?
I don’t want an early grave.
I love this life for all its pain.
I despise it all with nothing to gain.
The lies are rising on my tongue.
Foreboding me with worry.
Will they see my scars again?
Or will they look past until the shaking ends.
Make it stop.
Make me free.
Free from this obsession.
Free from all this rage.
I’ve done it all.
I’ve lost it all.
Please don’t let me loose again?
Author notes
I used to be a self abuser and at times those feelings come back, the same with any addiction. And um, this is me explaining those feelings.
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