a poem; i thought about it. nah it didn't feel right and this morning the blue in California hurt my eyes from the red i drank last night. i woke up fearless and still afraid that days are ending, sooner than i planned them too.
i made resolutions for the new year. made them now in case i forget them come 2010.
the most important was, i don't know how to not love someone. funny isn't it? you get people who come into your life and they turn it into a disaster, yet you love them anyway. i love someone that is most likely to be a figment of my imagination. i can't tell them (insert laugh) because i am not allowed too. it doesn't mean i don't think it or feel it, in fact it just makes the ache worse. so i decided i'd just love them and screw the consequences.
today i sat in the sun; a balcony, not a stoop. wondered what you'd tell me to do.
grow up and get over it, go fight for it or just say 'fuck it', hope it goes away and life becomes normal again.
i don't think about birthdays anymore, another number and complex issues that hurt my brain. i'll remember yours for all the wrong reasons. the day before i leave to go home,
you remember that place? the one i used to think held salvation that 'he' said is in my blood. you and i know better than that. people get into your blood, places just fill your eyes and ears with dust.
one day i might write that book on the education of me, you'll be in it, so will he
and i will be the narrator. everything i felt and learned might amount to a page or a volume. the air i breathed and what my heart did with it, that piece is unprintable. no words seem to describe it.
so i will love you, love him and only one of you will know the truth. is that sad?
maybe. that's life for what it's worth, we don't get the shit we want, only the shit we deserve.
chez
Author notes
have a great birthday, if i could put this in a time capsule then there would be a cigar and a bottle of cognac for later, just in case wherever we end up doesn't have any! Happy birthday Cin, love you xxxx
A contest entry
- IT"S MY BIRTHDAY!!! WEEEEEEEEEE by Cinnarry.
5750 points, ended November 9, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A first-rate bit of prose it is, too. I'm not at all surprised that she liked it, even though some of us get what we like (and far better than we deserve). You'd make a whale of a character...
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Oh i don't think I'd be larger than life lol but thanks
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"everything i felt and learned might amount to a page or a volume. the air i breathed and what my heart did with it, that piece is unprintable."
You are unprintable Chez, you, just you.
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loves you lots lady 
C
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Don't you wish we could all get in trouble together??? lol.
I liked this Chez, heartfelt is just what Cin needs!
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This was honest and real, just like you. If you ever write a book, I am reading it first. Happy B-day Cinn!
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Brilliant dedication to a marvelous poetess
these are not only words of wisdom
these are words from your heart
maybe. that's life for what it's worth,
we don't get the shit we want, only the shit we deserve.
should be a famous quote
thank you for sharing your awesome mind
many blessings
David
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Thanks David, I am not sure if it's purely my quote but I'll accept the accolades at this time lol
C
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Brilliant as ever girlfriend
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