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Call Out

Stricken by devotion,
Seeking love that was never lost.
A sigh of relief
Brushing the hair from my eyes
As the pain surges through
I call out your name
"Heartbreak."

Author notes

Picture Prompt #5

A contest entry

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • tomisb
    October 24

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    I never knew she had a name and I always took the blame for madness and midnites where the power went out. These devotions in the first line sound more like target practice of death by a thousand small cuts. It is no surprise that love becomes a wastrel and a runaway when we seek it. It is never lost but we are so much of the time. After you moved the hair did you see any better. Hmmmm
    Peace & Light,
    Tom B.

    The poem is excellent. But a tad to the side of melodrama. The boder is a fine line we all often cross.

  • Frodofan
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    I think you mean "surges" in line five. Interesting one. Like a little slice of life, perhaps even my own. I like the second line best. It makes me think about "lost love" and how sort of ironic the term usually is as it's usually still there at least on one side. Thanks for entering.


    • codsta
      October 23
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, sorry about the spelling error and thanks for picking up on that for me. Thanks for your comment and the contest.