Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Home


then you came back, darkling and
destitute, alleys up, drained wine bottles
stealing sun from hanging grapes purple
                                            alive with envy

feel your thought fox inklings
in the deep morning sandwiched between keys
flowers droop in cracked vase ecstasy
eyes gritty with sleepsand, stomach empty
                                                      as love thinking
                       
    too much

between your soft thighs, October brooding
robin’s egg blue, veined and sinking
kisses sweet in mermaid garb, scales falling
  rainsome, 
        tears of autumn

drink in me with sleep wigwam warm
   
      homecome

                ...home




















Home
~ crisstiena

Author notes

inspired by the poetry of e.e. cummings

because everybody hurts... sometimes

In a list

A contest entry

critical reviews welcome, but BE NICE

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • rhondasail
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    WOW...I felt this like spoken word...instantly it grips, hard and desperate, but accepting too...congratulations on the bronze...Peace, Rhonda


  • zt
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully descriptive, as usual. The wine, the grapes, the flowers, and who can complain about soft thighs? ~sigh~ I can see the e.e. influence in this and, maybe, a touch of sensual Carroll. Congratulations on the trophy!


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    Humm...your description..and the thought structure is well conceived and made me to ponder the view in details..the strong view indeed..and thank you so much...


  • Balldinger silver member
    October 23

    Edit | Reply
    rejuvenation is sweet, isn't it. being taken offline for a while, but never in a hurry to find fury in a sweat vein...nice cummings inspiration.


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 23

    Edit | Reply

    "darkling and destitute" - what a description for such depths of sorrow, such utter despair setting like an autumn sun. I also like the song by REM that you've referenced in your notes...actually, I like everything Michael Stipe chooses to do. Your poem pays a beautiful homage to the work of cummings, my Friend. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 23
    Edit | Reply
    so richly worded, very well done. Home. Yes.


  • quietly burning
    October 23
    Edit | Reply
    hey ... i love that song (re comment).

    sharp, jagged, oblique and so sweet. a wonderful homecoming.

1 - 7 of 7