I ask myself

undoubtedly,
I’ll get no blessings from you,
and I should overlook the stoney
stare, jutting jaw, the calluses
and collected shadows now carried
in the crook of your crossed arms

there will be no getting
around your sighing stance
~ you see right through the facades,
the excuses I’ve been shepherding
until no one can see the truth about me

long ago, I lead every hope
out to pasture, on to greener grazing
always just ahead and out of reach -
now, I can only wait
for their return and listen
for the truth in the lies

what can you tell me
of life and death -

the ache and echo of disappointment
warms and cools in the seasons
scattering, like forsaken promises, 
to lay still, bleating in miserable company

and, so
what am I to the wall, the line in the sand,
the bend in the road -

I live in self-imposed seclusion,
but there are too many gaps
and ghosts whispering
through the earth

so, I begin in the deepest parts
redeeming insanity  -

mystery searches for meaning
as the arrival of time passes
into forgetfulness,
and memory
slows me down

I ask myself, humanity
before turning back -

what is your will
- and the reflection, the barrier,
views an empty offering