Joy and Pain

My mind slows down
My heart stops too,
I'm looking at you
What runs through me

What runs in my mind
Is not just blood,
It's not just electricity,
but an Overwhelming love.

It's good, but it hurts.
I want to cry for Joy
and I want to cry in Pain
I huyrt at  these thoughts

The thoughts of losing
losing you to someone
I know you reassure me
but my heart only aches

I love you so much...
I really can't explain
In your eyes I see
See a hope; An eternity

I see our children,
I see many birthdays
I see family gatherings
and I don't want to lose

Lost those things I see
See when I look at you
In grassy meadows I lie
thinking of OUR future.

I cannot live without you
I want OUR CHILDREN!
I want OUR LIFE!
We are perfect together.

That stament a lone brings
So much heartache, pain
Doubt runs through me
and Joy wanders,crawling

Crawling through thoughts
Happy thoughts not wanting,
Wanting to let go of them,
Knowing that I never will.