There comes a point
between the spaces filled by our simple exchanges,
where words turn into slurs
and drip from our mouths incoherently.
Phrases melt faster than ice
and form golden brown puddles on our laps,
where they remain until our fingertips
become greedy.
The stories flow into one another
and our tongues grow heavy,
despite their desires to fly.
"I love you"
finds its way into the limelight,
selflessly begging for that final moment of clarity.
Caramel thoughts remind me that I miss you,
and their residue
forever sticks to my gumline.
Author notes
<3
for contest:
(option #3)
(commented on '3 am')
A contest entry
- 3 catagories! 3 poem limit! Prewrites accepted! by Candice Bezanson.
1200 points, ended November 18, 99 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Prewrites! NEW writes! I Want It All! by lesbian-in-love.
700 points, ended October 22, 210 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scream your soul by XxwhisperonthewindX.
400 points, ended October 24, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I love the language you used in this. The descriptions and metaphors drive the point home.
Caramel thoughts remind me that I miss you,
and their residue
forever sticks to my gumline.
That's beautiful...really beautiful.
-
I love it when I accidentally stumble upon outstanding poetry...like I've just done right now.
I'm a huge fan of metaphors, so...needless to say, I'm a huge fan of this. The first four lines I read at a normal pace, then I was too eager and sped through the rest so I had to go back and go slowly this time. And...it's a beautiful love poem, really. I don't know what else to say... I'd mention favorite parts, but this is one of those poems where I'd either mention nearly every line or I couldn't choose. And I can't choose.
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excelllent work, well done, so interesting, good luck in the contest!
-Mary- -
I enjoyed the line:
Caramel thoughts remind me that I miss you.
That was very good. It was well written... Thanks so much for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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