Across the lonely shore and star-lit vale,
night beckons full of sorrowful dismay,
her tears cannot survive the light of day,
they drench the woodland and the wind-blown dale.
The distant groan of thunder brings the gale,
the clouds rush by in sweeping disarray,
like brooding hoards they're dark and granite grey,
beneath the moon that stutters icy pale.
The troubled night has fire in her veins
as lightning soon betrays the burnished sky
and gone are summer's rose and heather bells,
how sadly we lament their passing by.
Through sodden fields and deep secluded dells,
a ghostly mist and then the heavy rains.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
love your sonnets and always enjoy hem I think they are a great part of learning to write, I'm still trying. Great sonnet.
-
I am not a big fan of sonnets but this works nicely
"beneath the moon that stutters icy pale
The troubled night has fire in her veins"
My favourite lines were these two
-
Beautiful poem. I thought the turn in the sonnet was effectively emphasised by the contrast of the ice and fire you have in lines 8 and 9. All the best x
-
oohh this is a beautiful write hun; great imagery weaved thoughout this and I love the rhyme scheme
gorgeous write and I really enjouyed reading this x
-
This is a poem full of imagery and deep emotion, and I believe it is a sonnet but I was a bit confused by the inconsistant rhyming scheme, it is probably a method I am just unaware of. Very nicely done!
Dennis
-
wow this is really amazing, the imagery is excellent, the form of this poem seems quite new to me, i mean the rhyme scheme, i havent read such a sonnet before
-
Oh I do love this one! It's lovely to read it again! I love your word choice: "sodden" is such a colorful word to see. Still, I adore that gorgeous line "The troubled night has fire in her veins".
-
There is something frightening but beautiful about a storm and you have captured that with your words. Opposite my window there are various trees including tall conifers and a sliver birch. When there are really dark storm clouds behind them they look truly beautiful, I have never been able to quite capture it on camera though.
We are still awaiting the heavy rain that was forecast overnight, in fact it was starry each time I looked out the window ..
We need the rain but I still think let me just walk the dog first ... or let me just get this garden task done first.
I too noticed the rhyme scheme like a sonnet but not one I'm familiar with.
-
Late autumn's hazy mists and heavy rain
replenish water tables and prepare
through winter's hibernation drab and bare
for spring, rebirth, fertility, flush plain
lush with promise sown and known whose reign
ascendant welcome zephyrs sends, repairs
Jack Frost's handiwork wild wear and tear.
From troubled night to light through window pain
the seasons spin, begin again. Again
gale free, see harvest ripen everywhere
Nature teaches man to take great care
uninterrupted cycle life sustains.
Yet much seems out of kilter, climate change
upsetting food chains steers to world weird, strange.
-
Finally! A new poem!
And holy Zeus, it was worth the wait. This is fabulous. I love storms and rainy weather, and your words transported me out of this cafe and into the scene of the poem. I could feel, smell, taste the darkened skies. Impressive, friend, impressive.
And wow, what a fascinating rhyme scheme! It seems familiar, but I'm not sure... is this a strict rhyme form or something you devized?
Keep 'tup, ~Keys
-
This is gorgeous! :The troubled night has fire in her veins" What a magnificent line!
I love your choice of the word "burnished". I love your description of the ragged clouds, and the moon that's guttering out as the storm comes on! What a graceful description "sweeping disarray"!
Absolutely gorgeous! I love the words you've chosen here: "brooding hoards".
-
-
Ah, I see you are a RWD fan as well!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
