Supreme ruler of Hades, master and commander
Gehenna warrior of sickly lore, so born of crusades
The slayer, annihilator, destroyer of mortal men,
his death eyes to cruelly bleed, take what belongs
So barbarically unto death rode the ones who taunted
In everlasting and bloody battles they fought and died
Men of acherontic wars, women bled like pallid whores
Children brutally massacred, fed to the ugly chimera
Teutonic secrets reviled, evaporated by immortals
And so from the land of the living flesh
To the kingdom of death, a darkly event to enforce,
torn from the savage hearts of suicidal thunder
An army of dead, walking towards hell and beyond
Here the supreme ruler had his wicked way,
encircling the fallen, empty souls rotten, surly forgotten
Sons and daughters bleeding for deaths ardent lust
Thousands upon thousands so taken down
There into the fires of hell they followed,
an army of zombie slaves on deaths march
Forsaken, torn from the very hours of day
Into the savage darkness, into deaths ageless slumber,
there they came unprepared, lifeless and stone faced
An endless avalanche of new arrivals to partake,
consume once vibrant bodies, feast upon deaths kiss
Oh zillions there were, reaching for the seeping innards,
grabbing and biting, souls deprived of their morality
Here unto deaths keep they'd veritably become as one,
lost children of life, so fallen into deaths morbid care
Upon the throne of Wotan, of vengeance bled the seas there,
bled of blackest nights, here the gods fought violently
With death they battled for supremacy and eternal mastery,
domination over all bestowed before hells abomination
Across the ghastly universe, crossing the dead rivers,
gods of love, gods of such nostalgic sentiments
There they called upon the throne of Wotan,
pleading for victories gun, shaking and roaring loudly
There they fought to no avail, a deathly battle lost
For death was master, such creator of Hades
Tormentor of life, an endless supply of freshly bodies,
thus sleep there he does not, for death is never idle
Supreme ruler of all life, playing his mystic death card
Through the darkest ages he has constantly been,
and nobody ever evades his wrath, nobody at all dares,
for death is mighty, and that's how it'll always be so
Author notes
Death doesn't care who you are, how rich or poor, he'll take you if he wants to.
In a list
A contest entry
- DARK Quotes From the POEMS of Redmoonnrizing by redmoonnrizing.
1600 points, ended October 31, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Junk Poetry. by girl shaman.
5500 points, ended November 16, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrite contest round 1 - 3 by serenity silvermoon.
1800 points, ends December 12, 283 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Let me know your thoughts on this poem.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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You have painted a truly horrific vision of 'Dante's inferno. Every line a masterpiece - "lost children of life, so fallen into deaths morbid care" - wish I had written that line! great work.
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Good
This is a very well written piece, and very dark. I really enjoyed it and I think the words all work very well together. A couple of small errors aforementioned in other reviews but I really liked it keep up the good work
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"In everlasting battles they fought and bloody died"
- is the bloody died a way of saying they died or..? i don't know that line sounds off to me. should it be re-written as "they fought a bloody battle ? ect?"
reviled should be revealed?
i liked the suicidal thunder.. that was cool
ok well overall, this was pretty dark! lol um i used to be into that stuff now im just a pretty melancoly person, either way i thought this sounded more like an epic novel than a poem but it still had it's elements of gore and such and you stuck with it till the end so that was good! thanks for entering
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Ahhh! This was a really Great read....it has a strong storyline throughout with wonderful diction and imagery. You REALLY did this piece superbly.....If I changed anything, it would be the punctuation...periods where appropriate and non-capitalization of every sentence.
Thanks for entering and Good Luck in the Contest!!! -
dig it
excellent imagery! love the allusions to mythology!
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Ok
This was an O.K. peice, the imagry was hard placed in my head as i tried to understand on what was sopposed to be taking place.
The poem seemed to move a little to quickly for my taste, which is all these reveiews are about, my thoughts....overall it wasn't a bad read, im still here so you did something right, just be careful were your placing your breaks, and how many syllables each line contains, the quatrain format is good primarily for the more simple ABAB rhyme schemes, i would have used a more intricate break system to give this poem a little bit more flow. -
incredible read! i was drawn completely into another dimension!
great dark imagery!
bravo! -
Epic! This would make great lyrics.
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Bravo!
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Very impressive poem very well done
Sure is if God don't get you the devil must
Alas we all must die
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really thought provolking peice
well done! and most scarry
love and blessings
Rend
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This is a breathtaking piece....
I read it twice and I got goosebumps both times....
You have such talent and I love how you interpreted the quote in you Author's Notes.....
It is so true and it could not have been said any better
Once again, this is an amazing piece,
Thank you so much for sharing
your Faerie
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I agree...a wicked tale of death and it's realm...
I must admit
it was a touch refreshing
for at least one person
does'nt blame GOD...
for death and the puppets strings
hell likes to attach.
way to write!
you did it brillantly!
ears/Seattle
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A tale of deaths empty presence seeping gently into the immortal soul of gods with very captivating imagery and topic. I don't know much about Wotan but am going to start my own church of WODAN
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This makes sense to me. No one can escape death. This has a nice flow and a good story behind it. Maybe it would be a story to tell kids one day.
Vhoori
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HEAVY!
Can read below.... like to hear more of HIS deaths, 'specially round schism with his beloved daughter. Check out the duet of Wotan and his Brunhillde in (I think) act 2 of The Valkyries, in Wagners ring cycle.
Write on, babes!
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Woah!
Wotan and death.................heavy
What do you think about his love/lust/partnership with Brunhillde, one of the 9 daughters he had with Erda, The Mother Of The Earth (the Valkyries)............ and his Time Of Confusion when he came down to Earth, broken-hearted, searching for his lost/banished girl who he could not live, EVEN IN HEAVEN without........... his reluctantly punished unto sleeping-death, raped then abandoned by 'the hero' Sigfried 'ed Brunhillde.....
Thank you for the INTENSE ride!
3SE : -
excellent
write you have penned
superb imagery and flow
good take on the prompt
love this stanza..
Across the ghastly universe, crossing the dead rivers
Gods of love, gods of such nostalgic sentiments
There they called upon the throne of Wotan
Pleading for victories gun, shaking and roaring loudly
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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This played out like a movie...making me gasp and cringe, and feel, bleed, and stifle pain, it is profound and excellent, and just the right amount of scrummy imagery words merging like chalk pictures...no overkill,, no holds barred...you rock my friend
this is excellent
come out and shine
T
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So many visuals were running through my mind while I read this piece, I thoroughly enjoyed from start to finish, It drew me In and kept me wanting more
Great work, Kudos....
Criticism ??? Absolutely none
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