Angels and demons were fighting while
I was wandering without a wisp of worry.
I knew darkness did not blind me to beauty
and the ugliness was not my burden.
Then I met a foot soldier named Fault
who introduced me to a guard named Guilt.
Angels or demons? I wondered... while
my mind was pierced by dialectic demon daggers.
Angelic balm soothed my wounds and I accepted Guilt, my fleeting friend.
God ushered him away as I stepped out of the umber.
My angels and my demons are still fighting.
How can this be?
I've submitted; I believe in the Almighty;
even His Son, I have accepted as my Savior.
But I don't believe in angels; I have a strong mind...
yet...wait...did I not feel their presence rejoicing when I first drank from His cup?
I resign to the existence of the battle.
My angels and the demons are fighting;
my heart is their object of contention,
my mind is their battlefield,
but I desire life without strife.
I am not willing to engage, yet I must.
So here I kneel.
My angels and the demons are fighting,
but I remain frozen in limbo;
half clad in accord, half clad in denial.
This struggle is too arduous to juggle; I may lose myself.
Yet, I must advance.
My angels are fighting.
If I choose to abide in His graces,
then I must not reside in this stasis.
Author notes
Prompt is the following picture:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_YNsgiIkMyqM/Shi2xtWET8I/AAAAAAAAApY/hq8nUzlTAHQ/s320/broken-heart-broken-spirit.jpg
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
Well done!
An apt description of the daily battle that the believer endures. 
Love the content, word choice & flow of this. I love the imagery & felt as if I were viewing this up close and personal as I read. I'm surprised not to see this in a contest. You should enter this in one.
The last line was so apropos! 
-
nice poem abouit the iner conflict within all of us well done
-
I think your conclusion serves the write very well, tying the internal battle throught to the end, accepting that indifference is not an option. This here "I have an strong mind" should have "a." Not the most musical of internal rhyme with "struggle" and "juggle" but they are memorable. I think the phrase "angels and demons" was overused, showing up four times withing the write. There would have been good opportunity for dark and light metaphor. Nice use of consonantal alliteration, especially in line 2.
-
-
Thank you. I edited the "an" into "a"; Its amazing how many times I can reread what I wrote and only see what I meant to write.
-
-
This is a heady and thoughtful piece, one in which you describe the turmoil of good versus evil within. What I love is the way you have made the reader feel your exasperation with the struggle, as in,
"I am not willing to engage, yet I must.
So here I kneel.
My angels and the demons are fighting,
but I remain frozen in limbo;
half clad in accord, half clad in denial."
I enjoyed reading this.
Sincerely,
Camille Morin
-
-
Thank you. I enjoyed the challenges, the thoughtful feedback from the other poets, and reading and learning from their works.
-
-
Intense battle and original rhyme
All though all tragedy has its inward struggle aspect, this inward struggle is quite distinct and most acute with its battlefield imagery. The personification of Fault and Guilt along with the angels and demons waging this battle certainly intensify this man's sense of torturous heartache, which he expresses succinctly in "I may lose myself". The final couplet reinforces the thought, that although opposing forces battle around us and within us, we still have the power to take a stand. I was also amazed at your choice of rhyme for the couplet, "graces" and "stasis". I don't think I 've ever heard "stasis" used that way, very original.
-
An excellent piece capturing his look of despair and describing the good and evil battling within his soul. Fantastic work here..I wish you all the very best.
-
Only with those who know the Lord can this battle rage. The spirit of man does that which is right in his own eyes...therefore, no battle. Good work on this one.
-
a Pilgrim's Progress here... with the personified human traits... and some in-line alliteration sprinkled here and there (try some near-line alliteration for visual beauty)... I'm not sure if this piece is on morality (good/bad) or if he is in religious conflict (belief/non-belief)... and it could also be about a soldier's conflict with his mortal duty... so I brought all three possibilities with my 'reader's frame of reference' and thought about them all... so you wrote a triple-whammy here...!
-
-
Yes, a Pilgrim's Progress is the influence for the personification. Thanks for the alliteration suggestion. On content, I was intending to portray spiritual conflict which involves the struggle with both morality and belief (like "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief).
It's supposed to be as if he has believed (stepped into the light) but is struggling with knowing he should progress and actually progressing (traveling closer to the light source).
I am so pleased that you shared your 'reader's frame of reference'. Especially since a soldier's conflict was my initial thought which developed into the spiritual conflict theme.
Mary
-
-
There is certainly a state of inner turmoil here that would cause this man to fall to despair. A battle warring within the man, but that was born from without, is an intriguing concept for the picture. The agony that he feels is well expressed, as it is grounded in his own set of beliefs. The path of his reasoning is clearly outlined, and the last two lines do sum up his decision and tie the thoughts of the poem together. I started to be glad I didn't have to face this battle, then I realized that we all do, it just doesn't appear as concrete as it is described in this poem.
-
-
Thank you. Your comments encourage me.
-
-
Conflicts of the mind can be every bit as destructive to the soul and the ones on the battlefield. I like how you use this comparison for good and evil within a man's soul, heart and mind. His very fiber being tested, even when he accepts that the battle will always be there. Nicely done.
-
-
Thank you. Your comments help me to know that I expressed what I wanted.
-
-
i really like this...it really rings out...shines out even..good luck in the contest
T
-
-
Thank you. I didn't even expect to get to the next challenge.
-
-
powerful ending, really does sum the piece up beautifully, the dilemma of free will and its many guises... good luck in the challenge
-
-
Thank you. I'm very new at this. This is encouraging.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
