transparency.

magnolia,

it was so hard to hold on to something that was never there, and even harder to let go and move on. i don’t know if it was because his blue irises glowed particularly that day, or if the sky was just so dark, either way the sun reflected perfectly on them through me and i felt completely exposed. and then you spoke.

i have never sat so still before that i forgot i was there, but my nerve endings were exploding and it hurt so damn bad and he noticed my decorative marks and the wind stopped blowing and i stopped breathing.

-

i know you’re the one that told me that roses grow best in december and that heroin wasn’t the way out. i don’t like to resurface the past but you once told me that i needed to die in order to live, i told you i was afraid and you didn’t hear me, but you’re not that good of a listener unless it starts with “you” and ends without me.

-

my skin is transparent
my hands are awkward
my face is a deceiving bastard
my heart is barely here

much like you.

-

you say you love the way my heart sounds when it breaks, I’m beginning to think i do too.