Scar tissue

When depression hits, it hits you hard.
It leaves you down, alone, and sometimes scarred.
Why does this pain fill me now?
The quietness of nothing now seems so loud.
And trying to LOVE is now the hardest part,
But will love ever penetrate this scar tissue around my heart?
Sometimes I hope so, sometimes not.
Either way, my mind is hot,
from the friction of racing and pacing and trying to find brakes.
Is this hate I fell REALLY a mistake?
Cuz now I can see, yes now I know.
Life comes fast when we all want it slow,
but its never gonna happen, and Im never good enough
For myself, a girl, or for anyone to love.
Ive tried and tried, but always to fail.
Im starting to wonder if I will EVER prevail.
Sometimes, giving up is the only escape I see,
but if that's true, then what happens to me?
Will I get better? Will my life be sustained?
Or will I be overwhelmed with miraculous pain?
I need a surgeon called God to remove this scar tissue.
Maybe then I can start dealing with my OWN issues.
Here I am, Here I'll be.
I'll always be here if you ever need me.
That's how it has always been, me waiting for all others,
Mother, Father, friends, sisters, and brothers.
Im always the one to drop all my plans.
Always willing to do whatever I can.
Why can't you see that?
Why cant you help?
Im crying out to all, for I have lost faith in Myself.
Maybe im crazy, and LIFE is a lie or part of a tenet
For that is all thats ever been shown to Joshua Scott Bennett