walking down those roads
where the past meets the present
and you're simply laughing
why?
because you remember
the mistakes and lumps you had to take
but sometimes that's life
everyone is too stubborn to listen
to wisdom that's told
and most are too independent
to have someone to help
so you stumble
and fall
down the path
that you have to take
and learn those lessons
that we all need
and in doing so
you eventually
find what you need.
Oct. 21, 2009
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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the hard knocks of life can sometimes teach us well but we must be will to listen and make the changes needed...but so often we cant see the forest for the trees...wisdom felt and thank you for sharing with me snake..
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More detail, possibly a better effect on how the poem is written (possible revision), and probably a bit more clarification on what's happening within the poem itself (go in depth!).
That's all I see wrong with it. Other than that, it's good.
•*~♥
Dax♥~*•
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i feel this, this is how i feel at the present moment...
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I thought your poem was good. Just add a little more detail and how the main person who's telling this poem feels, put all your feelings into it.
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