Your body whines as a serpent biting fruits of lust.
Your hands, green with life, stretching out towards the grey horizon.
Your face, inbred in brown clay, smiling like only a mother can.
I listen to your words , whispered in the bitter wind.
You speak to me of how you are the mother, and I your child.
I answer in denial; you lay a kiss.
I resent you:you open your arms.
The next day I ran to you, hoping to nestle in your arms,but you were gone.
Only then I wanted to be embraced in your giving, never ending, love.
Only then, I dared to utter, mother.
Aren't I an ungrateful Child?
A contest entry
- Woman As Tree by CarolDesjarlais.
1750 points, ended October 24, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
By Nicolay, crying on the inside about to cut on the outside....
Comments
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Oh what great potential.
Some thoughts:
I am wondering if you meant (whine for wine) (as) a serpent bites....
"Your face inbreeded..." Thsi has a very negative connotation, did you mean that Mother Earth is inbred?
I think, " I resent you;you open your arms..." should be ...resent you: You open your arms....
We do not know what we are doing to our Mother...Earth Mother... such a message we should pay attention to.
Thank you for reminding us that we must learn to pay attention..or live with regrets..or die with regrets. -
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Thanks! I appreciate your criticism! <3 Also I'm glad you liked my poem!
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