Sometimes I'd see that sadness,
In the windows of your soul,
That spark that used to shine brightly,
Stared back at me tarnished and dull,
When you'd get up in the morning,
And kiss me on the cheek,
Out of the purest of our habits,
I'd die a little inside.
That vacant expression,
When you'd say those three words,
The monotony of togetherness,
Seemed to weigh heavily on you,
I missed the smile I fell for,
The one that drew me to you,
And I had to ask myself,
Is this really what 'us' is about?
The monotony of togetherness,
The purest of our habits,
A coffee on the table for me,
My sandwiches on the side,
Leaving post-its on the notice board,
Saying things like 'need milk',
Sleep-ins on a Sunday,
And alarm clocks set for Monday.
We always thought we'd be different,
Never end up rutted like our parents,
And even still more habitual rubbish,
Like I'd always iron your work shirts,
You'd always tell me not to bother,
You'd never replace the toilet roll,
Or clean the hair from the plug hole,
And still we lived like zombies,
Like ships passing in the night.
So last night when you kissed me,
Out of the purest of our habits,
And walked out of the door with a sigh,
I heard the lock click shut and,
A tear fell, but I didn't chase you,
I didn't scream your name out loud,
I didn't call you up begging,
I love you enough to let you go.
Author notes
I dunno, it's a bit pants. I might re-enter something else.
A contest entry
- "I love you enough to let you go." ♥ by charmander13.
700 points, ended December 1, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Any good?
Comments
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Ohmygod, this is really beautiful.
The repetition of "Out of the purest of our habits" reinforces the "monotony" that the relationship has gotten itself into- and that it's inevitable that the end would come.
A good take on the prompt, "I love you enough to let you go."
Thank you for your entry and all the best to you!
P.S. If you're planning to revise this poem, perhaps you could add in more details to rein in the loss more effectively- the little things that one would do for each other, becoming "the purest of our habits"- and the emotional impact would be much greater. Of course, your poem is already powerful as it is now.
♥ Char -
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I've edited it a bit, upon reflection, and I can't decide if it's better or worse really haha. I'm glad you like it, it's actually true would you believe. Thanks for your comment, it helped with the editing :-)
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Okay, this is indeed better!
You just brought me deeper into both of your worlds...a really lovely write.
I'm sorry that it's true, but ah, hope you're better and over it now..
You're much welcome, and I'm glad my comment could help =)
Take care, and keep writing!
♥ Char
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