If I found out that I were dying,
with very little time to spend
in this mortal coil, I wouldn't
worry, for emotionally I have
been dead before...
I died the day I chose to leave
the convent - it was my life's
dream to serve God as a nun,
and then my world came crashing
down around me, like London
during the Blitz...
Yes, I died - I was dead for quite
sometime...what did they call it
in WWII? Shell-shock, I think, but
now it's better known as PTSD.
Once it happens to you, life is
never, ever the same...
Part of you has died, at least -
your hopes and dreams become
just a memory, and you fight
your way through each day
wondering just what it is that
you're here for...
Four years now since I left the
convent, and I still get symptoms
of PTSD, not to mention the Panic
Disorder I've developed, or SAD.
Once part of you has died, you are
never the same.
But having died, I can testify that
there is life after death, though hard
to adjust to it...if I were physically
dying all the same, it wouldn't really
phase me, for I have been dead before,
and now too numb to feel anything.
Author notes
4 years, 1 year - what's the difference?
- Friends of trekkergirl group list • next in list
A contest entry
- What If You Were Dying? (Big Points) by SamanthaSam.
1100 points, ended October 22, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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when we are shocked
or life just seems too hard
we numb ourselves.
we go to place where we walk through life not being a part of it
but you need to try to see purpose it is there
God slows are life down, when we get lost so we can catch our breath.
and perhaps there is another purpose you still need to find.
this is very lovely to read
I connected completely to every bit of it
it is very familiar
God bless you my friend...
-
Oh wow! What an amazingly deep write. You did such a wonderful job getting your point/or your story across. You did wonderful with this making the reader feel how you feel. Keep up the great writing!
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great write,and so well expressed................and its very true,,,,,,,,,,,we are not alone........thanks for leaving your comment. keep the faith.............
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Something took over here lass...
this was passionately dark....
written well but i worry so for you at times...
since you changed your name i have lost track of you...
this is written so well..
its very real...
i felt your words..
i want you to feel them..
for I have been dead before,
and now too numb to feel anything.
please read my link beneath...it may lift you....
dont be sad or numb...
feel this life...
God gave his only son for you...
dont let him down and waste it on regret...maybe my short little poem may help,
you know i luv ya lass...
and so do so many others...
and your dog....he loves you...i know you can feel it,
dont turn it off gypsy...
i know you will rise ...
you are strong.
Bless you gypsy,
Liam
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5790904
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it felt as if, you were really referring to yourself in this piece........awesome job imagery.......deep emotional outpouring of the pain of dying but, still living in the same sense within and of itself....wow......kudos......LP&H
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There is a coldness, a numbness in the writing, as if a part of the soul has indeed, grown still.
But there is also hidden emotion, a crying, from the half of the soul that lives, and wants more life.
You are not alone in feeling this way. I feel this way.
You are not alone.
-
Very good point you have made in this wonderful poem. I think all of us have felt like a part of us have died in some way from something we either choose to do or not to do or something happening to us through no choice of our own. Those parts that are still alive need to move on and go forward for God has us on this planet for a reason or he would take us home. If you are here, there is a reason for it, not to live in numbness for to do something with your life that is helpful to others. I believe that with all my being. Why are we here? I think we all have a purpose, even when our hearts are sad. Just my opinion. Thank you for writing in my contest and doing such a good job. Good luck.
Sam I Am
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