I promise to put my foot down
whenever they say to lift it up
I promise to keep my daily frown
whenever they say to smile
I promise make no sense of it all
whatever they say is true
I promise to avoid today
all that they say should be through
I promise to be irresponsible
in everything that I do
I promise to eat too much today
and void it all too
I promise to be unruly to all but a few
and to anyone with an opposing point of view
I promise to shoot animals
and wear them slightly askew
I promise to drive recklessly
getting a ticket or two
I promise to be uncompromising
when co-workers have something to do
I promise to out drink all the swine
so I'm as drunk as you
I promise to wear unflattering clothes
and force you to-to
I promise to pick my nose
until a blood vessel pops!
I promise to leave the seat up
whenever she sleep-walks
I promise to kick the kitty
tabby-lating where she drops
I promise to let the air out
of all my neighbors tires
I promise to ignore
all the newly hired
I promise to piss on the ground
just outside the entrance to the bar
I promise to toss Alka Seltzer
to pretty birdies near the car
I promise to feed the fishies
chunks of chicken with concealed rocks
I promise to say anything
which ties others into knots
I promise to be unkind
and tell her, "I forgot yer forget-me-nots!"
I promise to do anything
even spit in your hair
I promise to do it all
when challenged with a dare
I promise that I will never change
into something strange
Cause it sure would be boring
to always be the same...
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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LOL I got a laugh from this although some parts of it come quite close to home sometimes. Your last line is perfect. Thank you so much for this contest entry.
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this is so cool. the sentiments of this poem are something i think we all want to be. we all want to stand out, be different and to fight the contrictions laid down by politicans and laws and society. Keep up the good work.
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now this
made me want to buckle down and tidy up my life a bit more ,lol funny and so good to read on a fine sunny morning..thank you for sharing
good luck
Linda
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There is a quote at the beginning of Bradbury's, Fahrenheit 451 which reads, "If they give you lined paper, write the other way." Your poems fits perfectly. Good luck.
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love the last two lines haha.
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hilarious!
Straight from Oscar The Grouch!
good luck with the contest.
thanks for sharing this one.
peace & light,
Kendal
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Brilliantly Funny
I was smiling all the while I was reading this. It is such a refreshing experience to be reading something of this kind. I absolutely agree with the last lines that it's going to be boring to always be the same. A delightful read from start to finish. I was kind of feeling emo a few minutes ago. And to have made me smile this wide, I must say you're one hell of a hilarious poet... or this piece is one hell of a hilarious work! Thank you for bringing smiles to my lips today XD ... Looking forward to reading some more -
Lol so funny lovely story write i guess it could go on more not that its needed i can just see him with his zimmer when he cant walk to good and shakin git at the neighbours cats lol good work poet as always keep them flowing x
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Brilliant..
Love the story unfolding, the humor and the day to day life
of which we live
Best wishes and good luck
Julie
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