Can you tell me exactly what it is you're diggin'' on in the twilight
I don't think I have a shove
lfor what your selling me tonight
I don't have the bread and Im not into buying
anything but my rights
-oh you need to stop the pullin,
but uh for Christ sake keep up the fight
"when your handed concrete everybody reaches for a cushion'
- oh theres no stoppin the the pushin
that sucker
aint foolin
- and yeah yeah yeah baby its a mother fucker
Its a mother fucker, I Know I know Its a mother fucker I know I Know
Leaves are already turning orange and brown
autumn set in fast and this town is just waiting to lock down
Its been raining raining raining
- raining raining raining raining raining raining
raining all the time
wearing nothing but your schizophrenic smirk
your talking bout sprinkling
barley mentioning drizzling
maybe a spot here or there maybe an angel tear
but baby baby baby you know thats just a tip
soon enough we will all be screaming cats and dogs
cants and cats and
you say I'm always screaming cats and dogs
but I hear a cold mother fucker is about to make his rounds
yeah you know me, Ive been keeping face firmly pressed to ground
searching for a radiator, but none seem to be hanging around
and the winds coming in fast
whistling through the trees
making those haunting sounds
childhood was a blizzard baby and I hate the snow
beautiful but I freeze
and you know you know I hate the snow the snow
A contest entry
- RIP TO MY INSPIRATION ... by righteousme.
1225 points, ended October 31, 2009, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hello.
Allow me to give you the grand prize of my introduction. My name is Adamastor, and I only clicked on your profile because you had a similar begining to your name as mine. Secondly, Congratulations on winning the bronze trophy that you won. I'm not sure how you did it, but you pulled it off.
Thirdly, this poem is alright but with a couple of faults which I'm sure by now you are aware of, so I won't go into them.
As for the score? Well, I think your score should be 2 applause, but since I'm new to allpoetry, I can only afford to give you a score of one. Rest assured that I do not give out applauses willy-nilly, and the fact that I stated TWO means that the real score value of this poem in Adamastor's eyes is TWO. But I can only give you one applause.
With Regards.
Adamastor
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kind of like a song ... thank you so much for your time and talents in my contest ... your entry was much appreciated ...
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My sentiments mirror those of Gemma's--this is defiantly a song and it is rather good. I would love to hear it to some music. Perhaps a mixture between Sarah Mclachlan and a progressive alternative band like Bush. That'd be a perfect mixture
Thanks
Josh -
amazing.
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I don't think I have a shovel for what your selling me tonight
I don't have the bread and Im not into buying
anything but my rights..........
Oh this is faboulous.. I would have to agree you need to do a spell check.
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this sounds more like a song. a lot of lines are interesting and witty. i just think you need to work on the spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
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