A pixellated baptism with a cyber-family,
Photoshopped lifestyle
Elitist mystique came to be through vapidity
Insipid locale left to the imagination;
Faceless names
Purported bodies
And the sex is great;
No,
it isn't what it seems
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Not as good as other reviews suggest.
Dear Mr-Nevers,
First of all, and most importantly, is my name. I am Adamastor. I would like to point out the second most important thing: the poem.
Whilst other people who like this piece of work, and two even gave you a score, I would like to point our that I do not like this poem one bit. The reason? You have over done the use of your Collins Pocket Thesaurus too many times in this one. Clearly, one at age 22 did not know the meanings of approximately 27.3% of this poem. If you said that you already knew those words without looking them up I would say Nevers (as in Mr-Nevers).
My favorite part of this poem was the comment that I left after it. It leaves a stark reality that only you must face. Alone.
Thanks for the try anyway, and hope to hear something soon
Adamastor.
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I appreciate the comment. You'd understand my 'poetry' a bit more if you knew from where I draw 'inspiration'. It's generally automatic writing. I don't expect people to like it. It doesn't bother me if they don't. The idea behind anything I write is that it means something to me. I don't use thesauruses by the way, it'd be pointless considering it's automatic writing. Of course I wouldn't expect you to know that considering I only have 2 poems posted. There used to be more.
I think of a subject, and write out whatever comes to mind. This one in particular was inspired by the first decade of the 2000's. The decade of illusion in my opinion, where it doesn't matter what you've done, just what people think you've done. Doesn't matter how successful you really are, but if you can pull off acting like a millionaire you're golden.
If you don't like my poem, I'm alright with that. But I don't see the point in telling someone that you don't like what they've done. If it's constructive criticism, sure, it's welcomed. But if you don't like it, then don't read it. You aren't being forced to read or comment on anything I write. If there's a person I don't find attractive I wouldn't go up to them and say 'hey, you're ugly.'
I don't expect to please everybody all the time. As far as the use of words, I'm trying to get past the fixed functionality that people have, where 'this' word has to mean 'this' precise definition. That's just me though.
As far as presentation and style, sure it sucks. To be honest, I didn't expect anybody to like it.
But if I ever have any questions about how to write real thoughtful poetry, we might be in contact. Until then, I'll just stick with my sub-par performance. It has meaning to me, and I think that should be enough. Objections are welcome, as always.
Anyways. Like I said I appreciate the comment 'Adamastor'. If you have any tips on how to write an awesome poem, I'd appreciate them. To be honest I'm not really into poetry, I'm much more into things like drawing and sculpting. Those are my forte's. I'd rather show than tell, dig?
You have yourself a wonderful night Adamastor.
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e-relations mayhaps?
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Spot on.
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"faceless names, but the sex is great" Ever notice how about 50% of AP is all about who you can hook up with and cyber with?!?! It's near pathetic how much cyber sex going on on a poetry site!! Maybe its online? I'm getting off track. This is an awesome poem, I thoroughly enjoyed the ending.
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Most definitely, and ty :3
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I read your response to another comment and that helped me see where you went with this. It is crazy times we live in, and what you portray is one of the greatest challenges of our era, forgetting about what others think and doing what is really right.
Nice write.
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this is kinda cool. makes me think of what i'm going through right now with the guy i like. lol. i mean, the sex is great, but i really don't love him. >_<
anyway, good job and thanks for sharing.
xx.red. -
wow
good......visist me and read me -
very abstract yet a joy to read... I like diff
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Tyvm :3
It's not as good as I'd like it to be, I want to try and add-on to my current style if not create a new one entirely.
I was thinking about what this decade is like. The 50's were a time of subjugation and oppression, the 60's had sweeping social change, the 70's had the sex and drugs of the 60's but without the peace and love, 80's had the rise of materialism along with superficial power and authority, the 90's introduced a rise in cynicism and apathy...
I like to think the 2000's are the time of absolute illusion. The perception of others is paramount. What we've done doesn't matter, just what other people think we've done. It's like everyone is a persona.
btw, I'm loving the glasses in your pic.
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