you all over

do you know how it feels to not hear words till they're slurred?
or to face the facts - he was drunk when this occurred.
to stare at your phone, to will it to life;
because all you want's to know what happened and why.
all you want is to know that it mattered.

but this is nothing new,
and i've felt this way before;
from ecstasy to depression as i walk out through that door:
the one that stood knowing it'd see my heart break
the one that merely trapped me
when i wanted to escape.

i realize when i reminisce
that none of it was real.
but it NEVER fails to make me miss
just how it felt to feel.
to feel lips on my shoulders,
to be loved and kissed and held.
i just don't know why i'm expected
to ignore how real it felt.

real as in REAL as in tested and true.
real as in all it takes to fall in love with you.
it's a reoccurring thing. i should well be immune...
but my feelings are as hard to control sober,
as is a drunken you,
all
over
me.

and you are him,
all
over
again.