Was ridiculously Georges Bataille
Soaked on variables and
tangents between death mother
and sky father -- maybe a break
in that Rosetta stone(d) mind
Apollo-geeze, I hurt you,
and sorry I crushed us,
but then you squeezed
and I pushed
and we went
kerplowie.
Love you...
You know I just love you
from way-weigh out here
where even Jack Kerouac hangs back
as I swing big tomorrows
Squatting in gardens
and sleepwalks, haunts
I wonder how we'd've turned out;
then I giggle drunk alone(s)
skateboard for beer
contemplate the evening star
or buying a sweet telescope
Pondering Uranus, a friend
said Foucault, I watched Sativa
Grow, I know magnificent procrastinations.
And French pressed Sumatran
I get living, but I've never got you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
This one is pretty cool.
I can see you've revised it a couple of times. I don't really understand the George Bastille reference. I googled it but I just didn't understand what you were trying to say. I do get that this is some kind of tribute. Or lestways, I think it is. Whoever it is to sounds really far away or maybe dead? I don't know. I just guessing at it. I loved all the images though. I thought it was pretty.
-
-
It'll read better now.
-
-
Yeah it does read a little different now. i still don't get what the part about George Bastille means. Would you mind helping me out there?
-
-
Well, I suppose what I'm refering to can only be understood by his fans, and or those that have read his work. I'm trying to say that I feel like his work when I wake up, but if you haven't read his work, you can't really dig what I'm getting at.
-
-
Oh. I see. That's too bad. I wish I could understand it better.
-
-
Ah, you can. Wouldn't you just have to read Georges Bataille?
-
-
-
-
-
-
this is really good jeremi.. just outstanding.
just a great trip--- wonderful use of the off-kilter word kerplowie-- unexpected and perfect
not a huge fan of famous poets mentioned in poetry- but perhaps that is because i've never seen anyone do it right until tonight.. an homage but not a blathering.. great little twists of language through out.. one of your very best pieces..
m
-
-
does it read better now?
-
-
Yeah, it draws a smoother picture now-- less disjointed
off put by the "was" at the beginning.. each read i find myself eliminating it and starting with ridiculously.
love the apollo - geeze i hurt you-- so telling in one little comment
with great follow up in the final lines
don't understand the (s) on alone-- give me time though..
oh.. and love the french pressed sumatran
look at me all realistic speaking... you must be even beeter -
-
The poem actually starts at the title, so
it's "waking up was ridiculously..." does that help?
"alone(s)" is a very beat way of being at two different
concepts at once: being alone, and pluraly pining alones
which is like saying "hey dummy, there's more than one of us in here"
it's very kerouac to say something like "I was all alones, which could sound like alonezess" -
-
ok, one more thing.. and then i'll stop talking about it..
it's the layers.. it is multi layered even inside the borders of one or two words- it's just really clever..
ok, now i'm done. -
-
I hope most of my work is.
-
-
jesus. i should have realized it with the title. it's perfect.
like the use of kerouacness while mentioning him.. excellent.
i really love this poem
-
-
-
-
You're hot, I love it when you speak realistic like that.
Makes me all beet red.
-
-
Initially confusing grocery list of sometimes sub culture pop references (an ironic statement unto itself,) but sadly I got many of them as I once watched TV and listened to underground radio. Ultimately a lovely tribute to someone. Very glad to see you turned it into that. Good to see you writing so prolifically...for you...not for like anyone else. Maybe you overly think too much of your pieces looking for every crease and crevice...but man there's always room for criticism and some asshole to remind you of that.
*Note: I am not that asshole. I am from Arkansas. Most of us don't like the well educated, or even the satisfactorily well informed. -
-
It should read better now
-
Tell me about it.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
