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Lyrics That Lost Their Music

No clue whats in store,
In 20 seconds,
Goin' t' be forced to find a door,
Fallow the hall and find the ghost
In this mansion of electrical storms,
Faces fly by in and out of orange,
Through smoke, comatose,
Face down in the dirt,
Where's my coat it's getting cold

Beckon to the flame,
Bend the change and make it shape,
Dig..bare..focus and project,
Let your fear envelope,

Curiosity can kill the frets,
Take a peek through the fence,
And you'll have to admire the opponents elegance,
And the love you never forget,
Putting it on the line,
Having your investments met,
I'm no judge just a jester giving away his sweat,

Because it's never been
All for one
But
One for all,
Throw yours in
And
You can have a ball
Make the next drink tall,
Different cups of tea,
Are all that really seem to please
Thats why this little light of me,
Is focused to shine, so sheen,
To clean, don't stare,
Might bring up that dirty feeling,
If you want to work it out,
I have a place we can meet,
When you woke dancing in a dream
Crumbling foundation to space,
Only to reawaken a strange hallow place,
Are we who we are,
Or who we where when night envelopes the mind,
But then comes day,
why so shy,

So damn,
What are you feeding me girl,
You have my eyes,
But my mind flys by,
Let me know I'm in your world
Damn,
What are you feeding me girl,
Reds, blues, uppers, downers,
All aboard the pharmaceutical ride,
Damn,
What are you feeding me girl,
You got my eye turned inside out and my mind on a trippy twirl
But i ran with it,
Onpened a can with it,
Had my fun in space,
Now it's time to land with it.

KABLAM!!!!!!!!

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Chanes Forever
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is refreshingly different from the "typical" love poem, but I really liked that uniqueness. I like the use of metaphors (and you didn't go overboard which is also good) and also the imperfect line breaks. Clearly you are aware that your words are good enough and so form isn't a concern. It betters this piece-I might not have liked it as much if you HAD tried to set a standard pattern.

    "What are you feeding me girl,
    You got my eye turned inside out and my mind on a trippy twirl"

    I adore that, so you know.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • cybilseyes silver member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this seemed to be drug induced.. perhaps that was what it was meant to feel like. Thanks for the entry I enjoyed it once I inhaled the flow properly.
    Cyb

1 - 5 of 5