Two bony hands claw their way up my throat
whispering, repeating deep curses and lies;
drumming increases in my mind as I float
past these lonely scenes I have learned to despise.
Two bony hands claw their way up my throat
to leave another mark of rage.
He paints my cheeks a shade of annoying red,
this goblin that's become vicious by age
and he rots my mind until I break that thread
connecting my mind to a normal stage.
He paints my cheeks a shade of annoying red
to leave tainted marks of fury.
With skilful hands he moulds my bent perspective,
remains the last member of my jury.
Anger builds up to a mind now defective
and shades of sanity become blurry.
With skilful hands he moulds my bent perspective
and drags me to brute violence.
© Denierim - October 2009
Author notes
We all get into a bad mood time to time and the goblin surely knows when to strike.
A contest entry
- Do What You Do... JUST WRITE!!! by PerfectImperfection.
1200 points, ended November 20, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I love tough critique so give me your best shot! :P
Comments
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fearsome
gee ths was a fearsome poem that you penned on some hands doing ya bad for good and real bad.Kind of love dthe choice f words that went in making it .well done -
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I'm glad that you found the story behind it and liked it. This was a very strange poem to write so I'm glad to hear it's a bit... fearsome and dark? lol
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Colorful and ominous characterizations of the "goblin" who torments us ...Your rhyme scheme is excellent...and I know there are times I can identify with your frustrations...Excellent write!
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The goblin is definitely a mean creature... Thank goodness he usually leaves me alone
Thanks for the comment and your words.
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Thank goodness someone else used imagery and depth! Sorry, I was so happy to see at least one other that wrote as I requested. Well described sense of anger and building frustrations, it seems when you are at your weakest the fall can find you. I do so agree with your author's note, been thinking along many the same line myself lately. The beginning is amazingly poignant, and the rest does follow - but that stuck out more for me. Thank you for your entry!
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The beginning is stronger than the end, I agree in that. I don't think I've ever been in a badder mood than that particular day... I poured a lot of stuff here so I'm glad it turned out fine; I'm usually always happy and cheery, which usually doesn't show in my dark poems lol
But nonetheless, I'm glad that you like this poem. Thanks for the comment; it means a lot to me.
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