Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Aponi

Missing image

                       with rose stems

                                               she reminisced

                         the smell of vintage perfume
                                  sprinkled over her skin
                      like the sound of mid morning

 

 

 

 

and

she lived within three days
at a time


yesterday remembered her
as a deep scratch

on an old oak bed post
    

               and through cotton curtains
today

felt like the scent of full bloom
scattered across rays of

                                      daylight
 

then as tomorrow
waited

at a desolate train station
it read a book of contemporary

poetry
by a girl who dreamed that
                      

                  tomorrow would come

 

 

 

 

Author notes

image credit: "etude in f minor, op.25 no2" by muszka3

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • thoughtfuldead
    November 15

    Edit | Reply
    I'm at a loss for words on this piece. I've read a couple of your others but this one immediately got my attention, not that the others weren't wonderful because they were.
    I'm not very good with reflections, and I apologize for that, but I have to say the details in this piece were incredible.
    And the imagery in the first stanza was just perfect!
    Perhaps it's just me, but i'm feeling greedy.
    I wish there was more. Great write and thank you for sharing!!!


  • WindUpEnigma gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing, as always.
    "yesterday remembered her
    as a deep scratch
    on an old oak bed post" - simply wonderful.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I'm speechless.
    Your visuals & metaphor
    were deeply gripping.
    I truly felt emotion
    here, and you have done
    the photo more than justice.

    Just what I was looking for!

    Best of luck & thanks for entering


  • kayleesmama06
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow thats lovely! And that picture is too! I love the way you said she lives within 3 days. Thank you for sharing.


  • sinfull
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    yes, subtle sensuous. I admire the use of past, present, future and the image of her living within that context. very clever. The poetry fits the picture prompt perfectly.
    Very nicely done. Best luck in your contest. =)

  • Impressive!

    Very sensuous and elegant, your pen; a most fitting graphic; excellent quality work, overall, with a fine mingling of sensate experiences and personification of Time itself.

    Enjoyed...

    Christina


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    October 21

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Beautiful
    As I read this I found to me it read nostalgic as well
    Love the imagery in this poem
    It's a winner in my book
    I posted a new one too
    Do hope you come give mine a read as well
    Hugs
    Susan~~~


  • jazzcat gold member
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. I love the flow of this piece and the subtle feelings you evoke. I really like how you stated that she lived three days at a time and then slowly revealed what each one was. The visuals you create are wonderful - you bring out all the senses in here.


  • The Drifter
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, yesterday, today and tomarrow. What we were, what we are and what will we be. The tomarrow is the hard part, as we yet don't know the the circunstances. Like a hero one day, a coward the next.
    I like your poem very much---deep thought for a deep mind. Thank you for sharing.

  • Topnotchsy
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful. I love the imagery here!!

1 - 10 of 10