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Inspired by Laynie Britt

A tear of sunshine,
the kiss of day.
The sound of laughter
the gentle sway.
Bodies in motion, hearts afire.
Warming potions,
true desire.
Will she be there, after it's done?
Or will he cry
and walk alone?

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  • Lilac Moon silver member
    November 10
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    The rhythm of this piece is impeccable. The rhyme works, even though the end rhyme is -- grrr... what is the word? Not literal, in the sense of reading it aloud, but the spelling itself "rhymes."

    I started to play with the punctuation and changed a word -- like this:

    A tear of sunshine,
    the kiss of day,
    the sound of laughter;
    its gentle sway.
    Bodies in motion, hearts afire,
    warming potions,
    true desire.
    Will she be there, after it's done?
    Or will he cry
    and walk alone?

    I enjoyed this

    Lilac Moon